Who The Hell Was This Murphy Guy Anyway?

And where does he get off creating a "law"? I have been a victim. It will happen to all of us parents. Your spouse aka "the reliever" will go out of town. You will while trying to make dinner, cut your finger so that it bleeds as though you have cut off said finger--when in all actuality you have only sliced it a little. While trying to stop said bleeding and administer first aid to yourself--as your toddler cannot help--said toddler will proceed to pull all of the toilet paper off and try and give it to you, since he watched you rip off a piece to use as a compress. When you cannot take the entire roll, since you are trying to stop the bleeding and figure out what band-aid to use, the toddler will "help" by doing the other thing he has seen you do the the toilet paper. Yes--put it in the open toilet. He will then try to flush, which will force you to abandon your first aid and drip blood everywhere. This also causes toddler to scream and cry. So you hold him while holding half wet toilet paper on your thumb wondering why you ever thought parenting was a good idea.

Then he grabs your face with his little hands and plants a big open mouth (the girls are going to love him) kiss on your face and you totally forget about the chaos. That is of course until you have to go to the bathroom and the toilet is full of a roll of really nice, quilty, think paper.