Grateful

Today would be my last week at home, it I were returning to work. It is hard to imagine leaving my son to go back to work. I understand the whole wanting to work thing. I worked hard in my teaching career to move up-I was department chair. My teaching career was important to me, and my students ruled my life for the most part. But that all changed for me when I became a mother. I must preface the rest of this post by saying that I am not a feminist. Sure I think everyone-men and women--have the right to work in any type of job they would like, and that they should be paid equal wages. I am a proponent of choice and believe that it is everyone's choice about what works for them. Not all women were meant to stay home with their children and not all men were meant to work as the breadwinner in a family.

I never thought I would be the stay-at-home mom. I really thought that it was "old-fashioned." But then I became a teacher. Kids do better if they are rasied full-time by a parent--mother or father--when they are young. My hubby feels very strongly about this, as he was a latchkey kid. I was not--my mom didn't work until we were older. Working with kids changed my view on the whole thing. I don't want teachers and babysitters raising my kids and instilling their values in them--I want that to be done by me or my husband. I would be okay if my hubby was home and I was working--but I am a teacher and he is a computer engineer--he can support us and I can't.

I am tired and I am crabby and sometimes I am a little stir crazy, but I feel like I was meant to be a mom and that as a mom it is my job to make sure my child has everything he needs, starting with me. I am grateful that in our world it is still possible for single income families to survive. I am grateful that we live somewhere that has a fair amount of stay-at-home moms. I am grateful that I have been given the opportunity to have children since my body did not cooperate. I am grateful to live in America. I am grateful to have a hubby that shares the same ideals as I do. I am grateful for my son.