Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Minow "on my mind"

I cannot stop thinking about him. I cannot stop seeing his face in my dreams--both sleeping and waking. Yeah, I'm a proficient day dreamer--that is how I got through high school. I have been doing a lot of thinking about parenting and what it means and what I will and won't want my child to do. Reading Meepers post this morning made me consider all of the things that were okay and allowed when I was growing up in the 70's and early 80's are now the completely uncomprehensible. No longer does it seem to be okay to wander freely about your neighborhood--kids around our house do it, but not like we use to. No longer at age 7 are children allowed to ride on mom or dad's lap and steer the car through a park, etc. Oh how I loved those saturday afternoons at the Elk reserve when dad let us all take turns riding on his lap and steering the car. It was a coming of age experience and I felt so in control of my self. These experiences really taught kids something. These are the same experiences that our over protected kids no longer get to have.

As things have changed so greatly in parenting, whom do we look to for guidance? My mom was feeding us cereal and food before we were 4 months. I was gumming pizza at 6mos. Who has the new appropriate/acceptable answers to those quandries that new parents today find themselves faced with? I am happy to be a mom. I am happy that things are safer for my son. But I am sad that some of that innocent freedom I had as a child is now gone and Minow will never get to have those moments.

Well the reality is times have changed. There are more known dangers and there are more people watching than use to be. The other reality is that we are leaving to pick up our son in just 3 days. On Saturday we leave. I will meet my son for the first time on Monday. Am I ready? Is anyone ever ready? Can you acutally be ready? I will be ready for the travel, but now realize I cannot prepare for being a mom. I am commited and ready to be a mom and that is as ready as I can be. That is a comforting feeling. I don't feel prepared because I really can't be. Whew!!

1 comment:

Meepers said...

Viva la Meeting your son! I'll be thinking of you! Can't wait to see the pictures and hear the stories! I hope you do put Noah on your lap and steer him through a parking lot someday. Its too much fun!