Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Leaving Baggage Behind

I had no idea how much personal baggage I was carrying around within my extra pounds. The pounds just slowly made themselves at home on my body and nestled into to every insecurity I had. Who knew I was insecure. I don’t think I did. Of course I was in total denial. I lived my whole life fighting the insecurity and trying to show it who was boss. I have finally realized that I cannot do that. It isn’t going to go anywhere, it is a result of my life. When I met my husband, I had thought that I had conquered. Oh boy I was wrong. I gained 80 pounds in the years after meeting my now husband. God bless him for never stopping loving me.

I don’t know when I hit the bottom, or if I really hit a bottom. I was just tired of being fat. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being fat, but I was never comfortable in my skin and that is what is important. I finally decided to get off my butt and get some help. I had tried on my own, but I really needed external motivation, the internal wasn’t working for me. I signed up for nutrition counseling and training at the local gym–I love it. It was really hard to change my eating habits, who knew that I was really eating that unheatlhy. I really had no idea.

I am proud to say that after 4 1/2 months I have lost 45 pounds. I work out everyday. I do an hour plus of cardio 7 days a week and weight training w/ my trainer 2 times a week. It has been hard work, but so worth it. I am down 3 dress sizes. I have 55 more pounds to lose, to reach my goal. I think that I can do it. I know I can. All it takes is dedication. I am hoping to unveil my true self that I have been hiding under all of this excess weight.

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