Thursday, March 30, 2006

High I need me a baby!!

Oh Raising Arizona what a movie. I feel this way. We have been waiting for our referral for 9 weeks today. It is so hard and I can't help but feel helpless. I know that in the US we really have it easy when it comes to waiting--our counterparts in Europe, Canada and Austrailia can wait up to 2 years for a referral and here I am complaining about a few of months. It wouldn't be so bad if I could conceive my own child. But we can't. We have done fertility treatements to no avial and it is frustrating as I have more and more students who are getting pregnant--the total for this year is 16. That really hurts me. I don't deal with it well. On the outside I do, but it tears me up on the inside. I want nothing more than to be a parent and adoption will do that, but I really want to be pregnant and carry a baby. I want a baby that is my husband and me genetically. I don't know if that will ever happen for us. I hope it will. But time is running out--we are both getting older.

The adoption agency we are using has approx 6 babies that are almost ready to be referred. I am hoping that we are in this group of 6 but if not that means we should be at the top of the list. I don't know how much longer I can wait.

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