Waiting to Wait...

We are currently in Adoption limbo. We are waiting for our dossier to be sent over to Ethiopia. So, we have done everything we can possibly do for our adoption, now we are waiting to be waiting. I don't like this stage. The only thing our dossier is lacking at this point are the authenticated documents--dossier cover page and power of attorney. It has been 3 weeks today since those documents were mailed to DC. I am really hoping the dossier goes next week. Last time, we didn't have much of a wait for our dossier as I did the authentications way early. This year I didn't as I knew our homestudy would take a while. So, I have no one to blame for this waiting except myself. And boy am I wishing I had gotten off my ass sooner to take care of that, because then I would be waiting instead of waiting to wait.

On another note, I have begun to realize that so often my little minnow is the only child of color at so many places that we go. Which really saddens me as I live in a city that has just as many blacks (I don't like this word really--but I don't think African American is a correct moniker either) as it does whites...(I guess I could say browns and pinks...anyway). Yet, I have truly come to understand that our city is truly segregated. There are places where you don't see this segregation, but that is not in places where kids are generally taken. We walk to playgrounds that are around our hose and 9 out of 10 times Minnow is the only child of color. Yesterday we met my mom's group at a pool for toddler swim time, and Minnow again was the only child of color. No one treats him different and I think it is great exposure for the vast sea of white kids, but I wish there were more children of color that were out and about.

I realize that it is a luxury to be a stay at home parent and that it has become increasingly rare. I try to take Minnow to places where there is a mix of people and if we are at the zoo or other places in the city there is more diversity, but I long to have it everywhere. When we were at Disney, Minnow was the only child of color at the pool for the first 3 days we were there. On the last day there was and English family of color there. Minnow played for a long time with their daughter--who was about 4 or 5. But she was really drawn to Minnow and I have to believe it was because he was the same color as her. I know that Minnow doesn't really understand and see color at this time, but eventually he will and he will want to know people who look like him. I just want him to be able to get that at a wide variety of places. I know it is wishful thinking when you live in a city that has such a history of segregation and racism. I have to think that skin color is not enough to unite when so much else is different--there is much more to say about this...

I will have to think about this and write more later, as my thoughts are getting all jumbled--I need more coffee.