Monday, June 26, 2006

The "Adopted" child

I don't know why, but recently I have noticed and been really bothered to the media's emphasis on "adopted" children. Angelina has an "adopted" son and an "adopted" daughter, etc. I notice this everywhere now. I am sure I am just now noticing it, as I am in the process of adopting a child. When do our children stop being the "adopted" child and become just our child? Why do we have to separate the children? They are all our children regardless as to how they came into our family. Does the media not see that there are actual people connected with these labels and that by classifying them as "adopted" or "biological" they are stressing the differences. I just don't understand the media's need to label the children. I just wish....I don't know what I wish, but it really bothers me and upsets me that the media and much of the world--here in America anyway--see the label as more important than the child and family. It's a sad world sometimes.

On another note. Another group was formed at our agency today--that means that another group of cases was filed in court and another group of kids are one step closer to being home. I have not heard that we are in the new group--so I am assuming that we aren't. I am pretty hopeful that we will be in group S. I can wait to hear but I hope that some of my referral friends get their group assingments today. Good luck to those of you still waiting.


Danielle said...

That really bugs me, too. Mainly because it didn't happen with Angelina in the press until she had a bio kid. Now, Maddox and Zahara are "adopted." Whatever. They're cute as can be.

Watching Dateline last night there was this story about a family that had adopted twins from Russia as babies, then found out the twins had 4 older siblings now up for adoption--2 more sets of twins. The parents saw the pics of the older kids and immediately decided to adopt the other 4. When asked why, the mom said, "Because when I look at their pictures, I see my children's eyes." Your kids are your kids are your kids. No matter how they came into your life.

55 years ago my Grandparents adopted my dad and at 93, my Grandmother (who has lead one heck of a life, by the way) will tell you it was the best thing she's ever done. People need to get over the whole genetic thing.

Sending vibes to you for a speedy travel group assignment!

MP2 said...

Aw, shoot, Dawn. I was really hoping you guys made this group. I had hoped to get to meet you IRL in Ethiopia (-: You've got to be in the next one. Thanks for your well-wishes, and hang in there.

Dawn said...

I am hoping you guys get a group assignment soon!

Fizzle said...

Right, there's not a lot of reason to differentiate between bio or adopted. I think we're a society that's not used to this kind of parenting and we have all kinds of labels that hopefully we'll see go away with nontraditional family forms. Getting rid, then, o fall those step, half, foster, adopted adjectives!

Good luck on your assignment, Dawn. Crossing fingers for ya.

Jenni said...

Hiya. We're also in the process of adopting from Ethiopia.

This sort of differentiation really annoys me as well, and I am foresworn to smacking anyone who choses to differentiate between my own biological and adopted kids. Our agency made us take an online course about unwelcomed and offensive comments from strangers and how to react to them in a way that reinforces your kids and your family for the beautiful people and establishment that they are. The course actually encouraged occassionally using replies that were just as rude and inappropriate as the comment, i.e., it said it was a-okay to make the commenter feel stupid. It should make trips to the grocery stores interesting; somehow all social boundaries disappear and people feel they can touch pregnant bellies, correct other people's kids, and make uninvited comments about your family's composition. It should be very interesting.

I've heard of a lot of folks who've written the press to tell them how inappropriate and unacceptable such a differentiation is. Apparently it hasn't evoked any change.

I also watched the Dateline thing. I think I sobbed through at least half of it. I blame it on those weird adoption horomones that mysteriously mimic the pregnancy ones.