Family Found

Update Those Links and Bookmarks

2008-06-12T21:49:00.004-05:00

I am permanently over at http://thedalaimama.net. Come on over and read about our newest little Ethiopian Baby. She's a doll.

I HAVE MOVED

2007-10-22T22:04:00.000-05:00

www.thedalaimama.net

Please update links, bookmarks, etc. I will be putting this space to bed soon...very soon.

Please Note

2007-09-25T10:40:00.000-05:00

That I will be officially moving to my new home www.thedalaimama.net. I will keep this blog up for quite some time, but will not be updating. So please update your bookmarks and your links. I promise it will be the same me blogging at the new site. Writing about all of the things I write about here. Just a new home...A new persona.

See you there...

Growing Up

2007-09-24T10:28:00.000-05:00

Minnow is fast approaching being a year and a half. I can hardly believe how fast the time has gone. When I new I was going to be a stay at home mom, I joined a stay-at-home moms group. It has been a great group and I don't know what I would have done without a group of women who were going through what I was going through. Our kids are various ages as are our reasons for staying home. We had our 2nd annual family picinic yesterday--where all the moms get to sit and chat, while our husbands watch and play with the kids. It was really nice and Minnow had a blast. I am so thankful that I have been able to stay home with Minnow.

This feeling causes me to question my decision to attempt to go back to work as our next little one will be joining us around May (i am guessing). I have to wonder if she doesn't deserve the same attention and parental bonding that Minnow did. Is it fair to her? Is it fair the the children that will hopefully come after her? I just don't know and boy how I wish I had all the answers.

If You Lived Where I Do

2007-09-22T12:42:00.001-05:00

you could buy a new ATV and get with it a winch and a gun. Seriously, this is the ad promo that runs on one of our country stations--okay so I totally just outed myself as a country music aficionado--but still who doesn't need a new gun with their ATV purchase. That way it becomes much much easier to hurt yourself or someone else while you are out riding your ATV. Totally makes sense to me.

This is just begging to become a Darwin Award.

I Can Only Hope To Be This Inspirational

2007-09-21T08:14:00.000-05:00

If you caught GMA this morning you maybe got to see the piece on Dr. Randy Pausch. A professor who has terminal cancer and ony 3-6 months to live. He is truly living his dying days. He gave a "last lecture" at Carnagie Mellon--where he taught. It is long, but truly amazing and inspirational.

There is a question that hits me, would I have been as moved and inspired by his words if I didn't know he was dying? I would like to think so.

Here is the link...Dr. Pausch's Last Lecture. Inspire someone today.

He Is So Right!

2007-09-21T00:14:00.000-05:00

The Decisions We Make For Our Children

2007-09-20T12:14:00.000-05:00

Technically Minnow has been a citizen since we landed in the US on Sept. 1, 2006--at least in the eyes of our state. Officially, Minnow has been a citizen in the eyes of the US Government since Dec 22, 2006--the day his adoption was officially recognized by our state.

Today we made it absolutely 100% official the Minnow will bear arms for the US if asked to do so...etc. Yes, that was one of the statements I had to read with my right hand held up high. I hope Minnow doesn't mind we swearing his allegiance to our government forsaking all other previous governments.

It was a bit strange to be doing that for him. I know in his heart and in ours we will keep him close to Ethiopia, but reading those statements made me feel as though in some way it really isn't my decision to make for him. I was a little sad while reading them. It really made me consider how final his separation is--legally--from his homeland. I was happy that we got to keep his Ethiopian Passport. It will be a memento for him of where he has come from.

Almost Half Way Done

2007-09-19T23:45:00.000-05:00

Today marks the 3 month mark since our dossier arrived in Ethiopia. We are waiting for a baby girl. I have to say that this wait has been so much easier for me. I think because I know we are getting one baby girl. While we were waiting for Minnow's referral we did not know if we would be getting one child, twins, or siblings uner 2. There was so much unknown that first time that it was very stressful and scary. I was just as busy in my life then as I am now--well I do have Minnow to keep my days filled. But there isn't any anxiety. Maybe that is because I fully understand that our wait will be at least 6 months and maybe 7 or 8. I understand this. The first time around we didn't know how long it would take. Some families waited 2 months other 4. There was no set standard time yet. Also there was the HIV testing shortage. I remember how stressed and worried I was. I was a basket case and I have to thank my agency Adoption Advocates International for not firing us as clients as I am sure I was a complete and udder pain in their ass. They were nothing but great and awesome with me. They truly understood what it was like waiting.

I have to admit I like knowing that we are getting a girl. I like knowing that it will take until January at the earliest before we know who she is. I don't know what it is like to be pregnant but I can only imagine that the second time is a little easier--less stressful than the first time--as long as everything looks good and mom is healthy. I am at peace with this wait, but I look forward to "meeting" her soon.

Update on Jena 6

2007-09-19T08:38:00.000-05:00

The young man who had been tried as an adult and convicted had his conviction thrown out by an appeals court judge. This is good. But the other 5 boys are yet to be tried and the first boy could be tried as a juvenile. This is not yet over.

We must speak out about racial injustice. We must as a society take care of each other--not just those folks who look like us and whose experience we understand. We can change our world, but only if we are big enough to put our differences aside and to embrace each other.

It is not enough to say we aren't "racist" but if we allow these type of racial acts and differences to permeate our society than it doesn't matter that a handful of us aren't "racist." Make a difference. It takes all of us. We need to do it for our children. We have come a long way but not nearly long enough. Those in the 60's did a great bulk of the work for us, but it is not yet done. The last bit is always the hardest.

You can make a difference. What will it be?

Cake Is A Food Group Isn't It?

2007-09-18T09:01:00.001-05:00

Minnow had a busy weekend. He had two birthday parties on Saturday. One in the am for a friend of his and on in the pm for a family member. It was crazy. He ate more cake than anything else on Saturday. I know bad mom. I can't help it if he would rather eat cake than broccoli, peas, green beans, apples, pineapple or strawberries. I have a skinny kid and getting him to eat anything is difficult. He would rather be running around and playing or dancing to bluegrass music. I can get him to eat cheese, hot dogs, ketchup--is that a veggie?--nut butter (both peanut and almond) and jelly, chicken, liverwurst and avocado. He will also eat apple sauce and yogurt. But if he wants to eat cake 2x in one day, who am I to stop him. Besides he needs calories right????

Racial Injustice Is Alive--Help Stop It

2007-09-14T16:39:00.000-05:00

Jena 6
Story Posted Today in The Tribune

Not sure you are familiar with this. Just in case you are not please read below and please log on and sign the Petition. Not ONLY does this affect these young men but all of our children as well. It could have easily been one of our children and please pass this on to EVERYONE you know to sign this it is very important, should they win the case it will set a new precedence for future situations where our children may be involved…DON’T NOT LET THEM WIN THIS CASE…SIGN THE PETITION ASAP!!

In a small highly segregated rural Louisiana town of Jena in September 2006, a black student asked permission from school administrators to sit under the shade of a tree commonly reserved for the enjoyment of white students. School officials advised the black students to sit wherever they wanted and they did. The next day, three nooses, in the school colors, were hanging from the same tree. The Jena high school principal found that three white students were responsible and recommended expulsion. The white superintendent of schools over-ruled the principal and gave the students a three day suspension,saying that the nooses were a youthful stunt. Black students decided to resist and organized a sit-in under the tree to protest the lenient treatment given to the noose-hanging white students.

Racial tensions remained elevated throughout the fall. On Monday, December 4 2006, a white student who allegedly had been racially taunting black students in support of the students who hung the nooses got into a fight with black students. Allegedly, the white student was taken to the hospital treated, released, reportedly attended a social function later that evening.As a result of this incident, six black Jena students were arrested and charged with attempted second degree murder. All six were expelled from school.

The six charged were: 17-year-old Robert Bailey Junior whose bail was set at $138,000; 17-year-old Theo Shaw - bail $130,000; 18-year-old Carwin Jones--bail $100,000; 17-year-old Bryant Purvis--bail $70,000; 16 year old Mychal Bell, a sophomore in high school who was charged as an adult and for whom bail was set at $90,000; and a still unidentified minor.

On the morning of the trial, the District Attorney reduced the charges from attempted second degree murder to second degree aggravated battery and conspiracy. Aggravated battery in Louisiana law demands the attack be with a dangerous weapon. The prosecutor was allowed to argue to the jury that the tennis shoes worn by Bell could be considered a dangerous weapon.

When the pool of potential jurors was summoned, fifty people appeared, all white. The jury deliberated for less than three hours and found Mychal Bell guilty on the maximum possible charges of aggravated second degree battery and conspiracy. He faces up to a maximum of 22 years in prison.

The rest of the Jena 6 await similar trials. Theodore Shaw is due to go on trial shortly. Mychal Bell is scheduled to be sentenced July 31. If he gets the maximum sentence he will not be out of prison until he is nearly 40.

THE MESSAGE:

· As Chairman Julian Bond stated, 'This is an American outrage that demonstrates the continuing shame of racial division in our country. Join us in making it one of the last.'

· In light of the circumstances surrounding Mychal Bell's case, we urge all concerned citizens to support the call for a new trial.

· It is unacceptable to selectively enforce the law based on race. Prosecutorial discretion should be used in a fair and equitable manner.

· The Jena Six should be tried by juries that reflect the racial and ethnic demographics of Jena , Louisiana .

· The hanging of nooses is not a 'youthful stunt' or 'prank.' It is a hate crime. Such hate crimes should not be tolerated at any school. Jena High School must establish a curriculum which promotes cultural sensitivity and understanding.

· The NAACP calls on Louisiana Governor Kathleen B. Blanco and Louisiana Attorney General Charles C. Foti to thoroughly investigate and monitor the trials of Mychal Bell, Robert Bailey, Jr., Theo Shaw, Carwin Jones, Bryant Purvis and John Doe. The Governor and State Attorney General should do everything in their power to ensure that these young men's constitutional rights are protected.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS IMPORTANT MATTER!!!If you have any questions, call Angela Ciccolo at the National Headquarters at (410) 580-5777

(click the link which directs you to the NAACP, then click sign the petition)http://www.naacp.org/get-involved/activism/petitions/jena-6/index.php

If You Were An English Grad Student

2007-09-13T22:22:00.000-05:00

you would get to read things like this...

"Vision in this technological feast becomes unregulated gluttony; all seems not just mythically about the god trick of seeing everything from nowhere, but to have put the myth into ordinary practice. And like the god trick, this eye fucks the world to make techno-monsters. Zoe Sofoulis calls this the cannibaleye of masculinist extra-terrestrial projects for excremental second-birthing."--Donna Haraway "Situated Knowledges"

Aren't you jealous?

He Finally Knows What It Feels Like To Be MOM

2007-09-13T14:00:00.001-05:00

My darling, sweet gorgeous cousin babysat little Minnow yesterday. I had some work to get done and she was off and it worked out. She loves Minnow. So, Hubby comes home from work and Minnow wants nothing to do with him. Hubby is use to Minnow yelling and jumping out of his skin from the excitement that daddy is home. Yesterday...nothing except cries for super cousin.

Yes. He finally knows what it is like for mommy when daddy is home.

Is it bad that I am happy about that?

Happy

2007-09-11T08:57:00.001-05:00

A commenter posted the following:

You have my permission (even though you don't know me!!!) to change your
mind and stay home with your baby a little longer

I just wanted to clear up something for anyone who might be confused. It was totally my choice to teach this ONE class. I am still staying at home with my son. I am not ready to go to work full-time. I am happy working part-time and hope to be able to work part-time until I actually go back to work full-time in a few years. I am only working 3 hours a week. Minnow is in childcare 3 hours a day MWF. But he is being watched by a friend whose son is 2 months younger than Minnow. They had a blast yesterday. It is just as good for Minnow to get to play with another kid his own age 3x a week as it is for me to work those 3 hours a week.

My first day teaching was awesome. It is so different from High School. It is amazing. The students come in and sit down and are ready for class to begin when it is time. The actually listen to you while you talk. It was a very surreal experience. I went in. Taught my class. Went home. It was nice. I still don't know much about the college itself. I still have to fill out my direct deposit paperwork so that I can get paid and in turn my babysitter can get paid.

I think I am going to love this. I think it is amazing. I don't think I will ever return to High School to teach. I guess I always knew that I wanted to teach at the community college--or even an open admissions college. It is so different. It is where I fit. It is where I want to be.

I know it was only my first day, but for those of you who have been or are teachers. You can pretty much tell what a place is like after the first day. I am so excited. I am in a word HAPPY.

The Cost of Working

2007-09-09T17:42:00.000-05:00

After I pay for child care, I will net about $8 a week--which is what gas will probably cost me. Add in the new clothes I bought. This "job" will end up costing us about $200--over 14 weeks. Isn't life grand.

Oh, well. Getting out of the house and teaching is worth it...I think.

My Class Description

2007-09-08T08:28:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was able to go to the community college where I will be teaching to meet some teacher and attended their English teacher Retreat. It was nice and I am glad that I went. The atmosphere is so different than that of high school. Teachers were really nice and welcoming and offered to help in anyway that they could. For those of you who have worked in schools, especially high schools, might know that this isn't always the case. I am excited and really think that I am going to like it. I just might like it so much that I never return to a high school to teach again.

I really am just happy that I have gotten my foot in the door. As that can be hard to do. I know that it is even harder to get a full-time faculty position but I am pushy and ambitious. I have faith in myself. The course I am teaching is called Developmental writing. It is for those writers/students who need remediation before they can take Composition 1.

Here is what I will be teaching:

6. Learning Objectives (goals):

• Understand that writing involves a process of pre-writing, writing, and rewriting
• Understand the basics of English syntax, grammar, and punctuation
• Understand the basic structure of a paragraph
• Understand that there are many dialects of English, each appropriately used in different cultural, professional, and academic contexts
• Understand that the use of different dialects provides access to and membership indifferent discourse communities
• Understand that skills gained in Composition 020 apply to the workplace as well as toacademia
• Be able to use college resources (such as the Writing Center) beyond the ENG:020teacher to assist in developing writing skills
• Gain greater confidence in writing and the competence to continue writing in othercollege courses
8. Expected Performance Outcomes (measurable):
• Write clear, direct sentences
• Avoid most fragments, comma splices, and run-on sentences
• Use conventional syntax, grammar, and punctuation
• Use a variety of sentence patterns
• Use consistent verb tenses in sentences and paragraphs
• Spell correctly
• Write focused topic sentences
• Support topic sentences with appropriate specific details
• Write appropriately in response to selected readings
9. Minimum Course Requirements (examples may include)
• Write a minimum of 150 words on a topic
• Write four paragraphs, at least one expository
• Complete approximately 40 pages of written practice or exercises
• Attend regularly and participate in class sessions

I Think I Just Might Be Crazy

2007-09-07T00:14:00.000-05:00

I just took a job. I know crazy. I am teaching a college course--MWF 1-2:15. It starts on Monday--Now I just have to figure out what to do with Minnow. Hubby is going to take long lunches for a while, but that cannot go on for the whole semester. Anyone know anyone who watches kids? I would need someone from 12:15-2:45pm. Minnow usually naps at this time so it would be pretty easy money.

I have to make a syllabus, design assignments and oh wait..finish my grad school homework. But it is a foot in the door and these things don't happen that often. I didn't even have to interview. Awesome.

Fashion Advice

2007-09-06T12:16:00.001-05:00

I am by no means a fashionista. My daily dress includes shorts, t-shirts and flip flops. Some time capri sweat pants, t-shirts and flip flops--every once in a while I will wear jeans (if I am leaving the house). I think you get my drift. I am totally a lazy dressing stay at home mom. I have always been a lazy dresser. I think that is why I loved living in Santa Barbara all those years. Beach communities/college towns are great for lazy dressers. As long as you own jeans, t-shirts and flip flops you have no fashion worries.

Okay, so please head my warning...

DO NOT. I repeat DO NOT wear low rise jeans if you think you might have to get your screaming toddler out of a 3 story human habitrail. It will not be your finest moment...

Great Expectations

2007-09-04T08:49:00.000-05:00

I really thought that I might make it through both my BA and MA in English without every having to read Dickens' classic tale. I was not able to. In my second to last literature class for my MA it is the first novel we are reading. I am sadly only 1/2 way through and I need to finish the book today so that I can write a short paper on how Dickens uses violence to control women or how violence is just something everyone experiences...something along those lines.

I have to say the book is indeed a great book. The messages that are subtly masked in witty dialogue and somewhat contrived situations are real messages and commentary about the state of society that are still very relevant today. I will write more when I have finished.

Well there would be some great pics of Minnow playing at the zoo with his "girl friend" Supergirl but blogger is not cooperating...Maybe later...

Happy Birthday To Me

2007-09-01T10:37:00.000-05:00

I turned 36 yesterday. And let me just say...I don't like it. This is the first birthday that I have really felt as though life is moving too fast and I just don't feel ready to be 36.

I have to say that I have the most awesome husband in the world. About two weeks or so before my birthday I bought some shoes (7 pairs to be exact). I felt guilty for buying them for myself so, being the guilt ridden mother/wife that I tend to be lately--I told hubby he didn't have to get me anything for my birthday as the shoes could be considered my birthday present. So he comes home yesterday and I was hoping for flowers or something since I knew I wasn't getting an actual present. I was sad when I didn't get flowers--even though I am not a big fan of flowers.

I was so mad at myself for saying that I didn't want anything and that hubby shouldn't get me anything. But at this point I thought "Its really too late" as it was my birthday. So I was feeling sorry for myself and mad that hubby listened to me. I was slightly sulking and dressed ready for dinner when I as presented with this....

Normalcy

2007-08-31T08:43:00.000-05:00

Hubby is home from his business trip. Single parenthood is over. I am happy.

You know you are in a city when...

A nice guy buys a bratwurst for a homeless lady. She then says thanks but "give me a dollar" too. He doesn't. She comes up to the counter and asks for BBQ sauce. We say that we don't have any...she then gives us the Bratwurst saying "then I don't want it" and continues to hit the crowd up for money. I was appalled that she would have the audacity to turn down the food--even though I know it is not the food she wanted. She wanted money. She wanted drugs. She needed drugs. That was easy to see.

This is just the most recent example of why I no longer have a hard time walking past those asking for money.

Am I horrible? Do you give to those you see on the streets? Do you not? Share your stories/reasons here. I want to know.

Who The Hell Was This Murphy Guy Anyway?

2007-08-28T15:31:00.001-05:00

And where does he get off creating a "law"? I have been a victim. It will happen to all of us parents. Your spouse aka "the reliever" will go out of town. You will while trying to make dinner, cut your finger so that it bleeds as though you have cut off said finger--when in all actuality you have only sliced it a little. While trying to stop said bleeding and administer first aid to yourself--as your toddler cannot help--said toddler will proceed to pull all of the toilet paper off and try and give it to you, since he watched you rip off a piece to use as a compress. When you cannot take the entire roll, since you are trying to stop the bleeding and figure out what band-aid to use, the toddler will "help" by doing the other thing he has seen you do the the toilet paper. Yes--put it in the open toilet. He will then try to flush, which will force you to abandon your first aid and drip blood everywhere. This also causes toddler to scream and cry. So you hold him while holding half wet toilet paper on your thumb wondering why you ever thought parenting was a good idea.

Then he grabs your face with his little hands and plants a big open mouth (the girls are going to love him) kiss on your face and you totally forget about the chaos. That is of course until you have to go to the bathroom and the toilet is full of a roll of really nice, quilty, think paper.

What Was He Thinking?

2007-08-27T15:23:00.000-05:00

A short little story on our local news last night reinforced something I had always thought--if two buffalo are fighting one should not try to break up the fight. Sadly, a buffalo farmer tried to break up a fight between 2 of his buffalo when one got our of his own enclosure and entered that of the another buffalo. The farmer was gored. I don't think he was critically injured, but who really thinks they can break up a fight between two 2,000lbs plus animals? I won't even think of trying to break up a fight between 2 14-year-old girls much less buffalo.

Please let this be a lesson to you all.

How To Torture Your Toddler

2007-08-24T13:36:00.000-05:00

For months now (about 3) Minnow has been going to bed on his own and awake. He will sometimes cry until the other parent comes to hug him good night, but most of the time he just goes to sleep.

Now napping is another story. We didn't have a nap routine. Sometimes he would fall asleep in the car others he would fall asleep with me while watching a little SpongeBob. This week I decided that whether he was falling asleep or not 12:30 is nap time. That is when he is tired and gets really crabby. So, on Monday it was 12:30. I took him upstairs and explained to him that it was sleepy time. He wasn't having any of it. He looked at me and screamed--so clearly wishing he could say "you are absolutely crazy woman, I am not napping." But he can't talk so I could pretend I didn't know what he was trying to communicate.

I let him cry for a few minutes and then took up 3 of his SpongeBob books. I figured if he wasn't going to sleep that was fine but he was staying in his crib and read. He read for a few minutes and fell asleep. It was nice. I take the books out of his crib when he wakes up from his nap, since he doesn't need the books at night.

To make this short story even longer...I took Minnow up to bed last night. He was sleepy and obviously ready for bed. He laid down and before I was down the stairs he started screaming. And not just unhappy to be in bed screaming, but someone was torturing him screaming. I waited a minute or two but went back up to see what the problem was...as the screaming only got louder.

The minute I walk into his room, he says "pweeze, pweeze, pweeze." I look into his crib and the poor little guy is sitting in the dark, holding his books and trying to read in the dark. Mommy forgot to remove the books and the little guy just wanted to read.

Could This Happen To You?

2007-08-24T09:26:00.000-05:00

Sadly, a 7-month old baby was left to die in a hot car yesterday. The mom is a pediatrician and the dad a medical researcher. This was not the result of neglect, but the result of multi-tasking and lack of communication. My immediate reaction to the story was "How the hell can you forget that your child is in the car?" Well the answer is clear--if you do not know that the child is in the car because you didn't put the child in the car. This tragedy could have easily been avoided. But we have all done something that is seemingly as benign--forgetting to tell the other parent that we fed/didn't feed the kids, etc.

This tragic story is a perfect example of just how busy we have become. Is making it to a meeting on time really worth your child's life. I know the mom would say "NO" but at that moment she made the choice she didn't know what the consequence would be. I am not about placing blame here. I will not do that now--as these parents have paid the ultimate price.

I am writing about his now, as I hope to get us to think about what is really important to us as a society. I see it all the time, not that I am never really in a hurry to get anywhere anymore. We take risks constantly to keep up with our over scheduled lives--we speed, run red lights, weave in and out of traffic, eat fast food because we don't have time to cook meals, etc. When are we going to slow down and start to realize that there are more important things that are being overlooked. We are over scheduled as adults and in turn we over schedule our kids and because of that we forget to sign a field trip form, to help with a science project, to drop our kids off at daycare.

This tragedy becomes a little less of one, if we learn from it. Let's look at what this family's loss can teach us.

Who Is Teaching Your Children? A Wolf in Sheeps Clothing Perhaps

2007-08-23T10:46:00.000-05:00

I don't mean to alarm you, but don't assume your son or daughters teacher is above reproach. Especially here in Missouri. A recent audit of Missouri schools and teachers showed that many had some sort of criminal background--often including violent crimes or child abuse. An article was published by Teacher Magazine Weekly.

I once got a teacher fired because of their history of child abuse/molestation. I was a teacher for 4 years and each year there was an incident of what is called molestation. I taught high school and it is much trickier there, as many of the students are 17 and 18. I will not get into a debate now about teacher/student relations. I have never understood them. More often than not the person in power--the teacher--is to blame. That's all I'll say about that.

So my first year as a high school teacher, I was at a city school. I'll translate the word city for those of you who aren't sure why that notation matters--city=poor, minority and marginalized students. One administrator who I will call Little Mr. Big sent up a flag with me. He talked about himself in the 3rd person, he couldn't quite put together a grammatically correct sentence and he misspelled achievement on a bulletin board he made for the day the state auditors were coming. To say I didn't like him is an understatement, but I have long ago learned you aren't always going to like the people you work with. I ignored him most of the time and as a teacher it is generally pretty easy to close your classroom door and do your job.

Well, I overheard some gossip. Again those of you who are teachers know that gossip is a very high commodity in a school. If you have it people will flock to you. I am not a gossip really, but I do like to listen to gossip. I will/can admit that. So, I heard a rumor that Little Mr. Big had been fired from a previous school district, in a state just across the river for child molestation. I was appalled by this. I couldn't believe that our system was so fucked up that it couldn't find out the true history, or that if it did it would look the other way.

So, I set out to do some digging. It didn't take me long. I went to the online archives of our local paper and did a quick search. It returned 3 results in a matter of seconds. I purchased the articles that revealed the Little Mr. Big had been let go from his previous teaching job for promising a student an A if he had sex with him. The student was male. The student was smart and told his parents, who in turn told the police. The police set up a sting operation and arrested Little Mr. Big at the hotel with the boy. Little Mr. Big didn't go to jail, but we sentenced to probabtion and a condition of his probabtion was that he was no longer to ever work with children again. Well here he was 8 years later working with students, young students in a position of authority.

I printed out the articles and delivered them to my principal. Two days later he was fired. It was a big step for me. I thought about how maybe in 8 years he had changed. I thought maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe if I had like him I might have. I questioned my motives for a long time and finally came to grips with the fact that it was my professional responsibility as a teacher to protect my students. Little Mr. Big was a predator.

It saddens me that this happens at all and with any frequency. But education is fraught with corruption. School districts don't want a blight on their record. They reassign teachers/staff who seemingly have problems or have been accused. In the absence of evidence I think this is good, as it is never like a student hasn't lied to hurt a teacher that they feel wronged them. But educators and schools tend to overlook issues. Districts will release teacher and administrators promising them that if they just go work at another district they will give them a recommendation. Where is the accountability? What are we teaching our students/children?

My New Home

2007-08-23T09:55:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking for some time now that I needed a new home/title. I have written previously that when I started this blog originally I did it to chronicle the adoption of our first son. That is done. Our son has been with us for one year and I have found myself every increasingly writing about topics, etc. that are not adoption related. That is not to say that I won't continue to write about adoption, as we are in the process of another adoption. But having been through one already, I find that I need to write less and less about adoption and more and more about the issues in my life and the world that interest me.

I decided that an overhaul was needed. And I really wanted it. This blog and the title Family Found hold a special place in my heart and in my life. It will stay up for the time being, as I wait or the design of my new home to be finished. But this blog/site will be more about me and who I am, etc I am a mother, a wife, a teacher, a graduate student, a woman. You will see from the title of this site that I have some delusions of grandeur. Over the last few months I have come to terms with my role as all of the aforementioned categories. I have accepted that I am not perfect and cannot be perfect. Perfection can not be achieved here on earth. Buddha taught that the way to eliminate suffering begins with understanding the true nature of the world. I am not looking to end the suffering of other, lets be honest that is a task too great for anyone. But I have started to eliminate my own suffering by understanding that as a woman, wife, mother, teacher, student, I cannot be perfect. I cannot do it all at the sametime. I have been trying to do it all and failing miserably at all of it. I am beginning to understand for myself what the true nature of the world is. That is part of the reason for the new name. And to be honest as well, it is catchy and I wanted something catchy.

I did not search online to see if the monniker The Dalai Mama had been taken. If it has and it was taken by you...I'm sorry. I am not trying to steal your thunder. Interneters do not think that I wanted to poach someone elses identity. I had a long list of names for this new site and after really looking at where I am in life right now and my whole outlook on life I really felt that this was perfect for me. I am sure there are many Dalai Mama's out there. I am just the next reincarnation. That is how I look at it.

Please bare with the blandness of the site as it is being designed and should be up and running at full force in about a month. I am working with a talented designer from Swank Web Style and am looking forward to having the site professionally designed.

Stay tuned. I will be cross-posting my posts until the move is complete.

Celebrations, Fun and Bad Parent Moments #623-625

2007-08-22T13:31:00.000-05:00

Let's start with the fun stuff. We celebrated our Family Day with Minnow by going to eat at a new Ethiopian restaurant in our area. I have to say that I was impressed with the food and the decor. The service was not the best, but actually very comparable to what we received when in Ethiopia--so really no complaints. We had Doro Tibs, Key Wat and Shiro Wat. All of which were delicious. Bad Parent Moment #624--I forgot to order something not spicy for little Minnow. He was happy eating the injera with a little bit of the Doro tibs that we sucked dry of spice. The restaurant--Selam--was very cozy and inviting. It was full of Ethiopians--well not full but there were a group of young men eating and a couple out side who were all Ethiopian. They loved little Minnow--he being 16 months old was a little shy when they wanted to hold him but he was giving our high fives and smiles. The owners--a young engaged Ethiopian couple--have a coffee ceremony set up. We are hoping to experience one next time we go.

Today we went to the City Museum. It is absolutely the most amazing "museum" I have ever been to. I cannot wait until Minnow is a little older so that he can really take advantage of everything that it has to offer. He tried today but, he is little and it is a big place. It isn't cheap--cost $18 dollars for me (this included the aquarium) but Minnow was free so that was nice. It is an interactive and hands on place with lots of slides, climbing, etc. Minnow was having a great time. He especially loved driving the glass bottom boat and looking at the fish. Bad Parent Moment #625--Minnow was driving the boat and Mommy wanted to go check out some more of the neat stuff. Mommy took Minnow off the boat. Minnow screamed as though I was poking him in the eye with sharp sticks. I did then let him splash in the water of one of the touch/feel fish tanks and let him touch a sting ray. He still wanted to go back to the boat...We didn't.

All in all this whole parenting thing is pretty awesome. I love watching Minnow grow and it is still hard to believe how far he has come in a year and how much he has changed. It is amazing and I am looking forward to adding to our family. We are 2 months into our approx 7 month referral wait. It is much easier this time. So much easier. I am still excited to "meet" our baby girl but I am surprisingly calm with the whole waiting thing. I loving being Minnow's mom.

Bad Parent Moment #623--This morning Minnow was watching SpongeBob and I thought it was the perfect moment to go the the bathroom and get more coffee. I was making my latte and thought to myself Boy he is sure being quiet. It must be a really good episode. So I peak around the corner as I like to early on hone my spying skills. He wasn't there. A quick moment of mom panic. I looked in our bedroom--no Minnow. I looked over to the stairs and the gate wasn't closed. Remind me to scalp hubby for forgetting to close it. I run upstairs and there in Minnow in his room reading a SpongeBob book. I grab him and hug him and he just laughs as though deep down behind that really cute and sweet smile, he knows he scared the shit out of me and that he isn't suppose to go up the stairs. What was I saying about loving being a mom??? It gave me a fleeting glance at what the future holds as our little minnow grows up. Watch out girls...

Our One Year Family Anniversary

2007-08-21T09:55:00.001-05:00

One year ago 7000 miles away our little Minnow was laid in our arms. He at that moment became the center or our family. He was sick, barely 10 lbs and was hospitalized. He has since grown over 10 inches and gained 13lbs. He walks, runs, dances and babbles incessantly. He loves SpongeBob, avocado and snuggling with mommy and daddy.

click here if above is not working.
He has come a long way since this day. As have we. He is everything we could have hoped for and more. I went into this whole motherhood thing with a level of naivete that has since been stomped out by short screaming tantrums, dirty clothes, and lots of sticky messes. I wouldn't trade any of those difficult moments for anything in the world. Because for each difficult moment there have been big wet kisses, endless giggling, countless high-fives, an infinite number of loving moments that have clearly shown me what really is important in life.

Happy Family Day Minnow. We love you.

Who Takes Care of Mommy?

2007-08-20T08:04:00.000-05:00

I read a great article in Good Housekeeping the other day. It was about emotional eating and why most women--especially mother tend to do it. The author's thesis is that those of us who are emotional eaters use food to nourish ourselves as we don't do it in any other way. Food is the way we "take care" of ourselves. I know it might seem counter intuitive to take care of yourself by eating an entire loaf of zucchini bread or an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's, but it makes total sense that that is what I have been doing. Food is really the only thing I do for myself lately. Sad uh? I think this is something that many women struggle with, especially those of us who become mothers later in life. I was pretty much 35 when Minnow came to us. I had spent many a year taking care of what I needed and doing it for me and for no one else.

I think my first slide came when I met my hubby. I started putting him first--once the relationship got serious. I certainly didn't put him first in those early stages. But once we moved in together and got engaged. I put him first and my needs were second. I ended up gaining a great deal of weight (about 70 lbs). Of course it didn't happen right away but it did happen. I lost much of the gained weight, only to have Minnow and then gain much of what I lost back. Minnow became first, hubby second and ranked a lowly third on my priority list.

I have come the realization that I am not going to lose the weight and feel good about myself until I take care of myself. Until I put myself first. As a mother, this seems weird. I feel like my child should be put first. I am starting to realize that if I put myself first, my child will reap those benefits. If I go to the gym for an hour and drop minnow in the gym's child care, he will be okay and will even become more well adjusted to different situations. I need to put myself first. I need to be the best me I can be, so that I can be the best mom and wife that I can be. As I haven't been very good at either lately. Whether that statement is true or not to Minnow or Hubby doesn't matter. It is my perception that is my reality.

So ladies of the so very wise blogsphere, how do you take care of you so that you can better take care of your family? How do you find/create your "me" time? How do your nourish your soul? Share your stories here.

Moving Soon

2007-08-17T13:05:00.000-05:00

Hey all. Just to let those of you who read me--I know the number is small--that I will be moving my blog to my own site. I have decided that blogger has done good by me, but that it is time that I move up to a site that can give me more options. I started this blog to document the journey we took to start our family. It has evolved from that into so much more. I feel it is time for a redesign. Those of you who started with me way back--don't worry I will still write and document my life as a mom and the next adoption. I have a domain and will post it once the site is up and running. Until then, I will of course continue to write here. I hope you will all join me at my new digs. I have spent a great deal of time coming up with a new title, etc. Something that really fits me and my views of the world, etc.

Until then, keep reading with me here. Because my readers rock!

Please Parent Your Children So That Others Don't Have To!

2007-08-16T12:04:00.000-05:00

We went back to said coffee house today. As it is great. I love it. Minnow loves it. But please parent your children when you are out in public. Don't just shake your head and wonder why your kid is pushing, kicking, hitting, etc. And please don't offer excuses or psycho babble reasons why said child is aggressive. I don't care that he is the youngest of 3 boys. I want to see you do something about him hitting the girl. I want to see you watch your child, especially if you know he/she is aggressive. Yes, some of us moms can sit on the sidelines, drink our coffee and chat, because our kids aren't pushing, hitting, or ripping toys out of other kids' hands. I'm sorry that you want to sit with us, but you have a job to do--PARENT YOUR CHILD. That means that you need to sit in the play area with your aggressive, grossly misunderstood child and watch them and discipline them. By discipline I do not mean your quietly in nice mom voice say "No Hit" and then return to your seat--which is furthest away from the play area and keep talking. All of this is great until I see you watch as another mother has to wrench her child away from the blows from your child. And not until then do you get up, move, or say anything to your child.

If that is your idea of what a parent is, please don't bring your child to play with mine. As, I have my hands full parenting my own child. I don't get paid to parent yours. If you would like me too--I charge $20 an hour.

Hey! That is MY Recycling...

2007-08-16T09:16:00.001-05:00

Okay, in our city we can pay to participate in curb side recycling. It is great and the cost in minimal--$47 a year. It is a pilot program and I love it. We drink a lot of soda, beer, coffee flavor syrup, milk, etc. Oh and don't even get me started on newspapers and magazines. We have forgotten to put out our recyling 2 weeks ago and then we were out of town last week. So needless to say we had a lot of recycling. Also, we had a ton of cans from when we recylced but weren't part of a recyling program and were too frickin' lazy to take the cans to the recyling center.

So, like good citizens, we put our recycling out last night--it has to be out at the curm before 7am. Well about 10 minutes ago, the dogs started growling and barking. This means one of a few things--there is another dog that dare tread on their sidewalk, a leaf is blowing across the street and they think it is a rabbit, squirrel or a cat, and now I can add to this list--someone stealing my recycling....

Oh My God, I am One of Those Moms

2007-08-15T13:20:00.000-05:00

Today we met with our mom's group at this really awesome cafe designed and owned by moms. It has this great play area for kids and their is seating all around for parents, as well as tables to block the kids from easily escaping. It is a great place and only 5 minutes from my house. I can't believe that I haven't been their before, especially since I am a coffee shop/cafe whore. I love them....

Anyway, so the kids of all ages are playing. Of course kids are going to bet bumped and their will be the occasional fight/struggle/tantrum over a particular toy, etc. I don't much worry about that stuff. There was a moment and I must say I was so happy that my child was completely unphased. Two boys about 4 or 5 were struggling over one toy--because all of the kids play together, there really aren't that many toys that are geared towards the older kids. One mom picked up her son and removed him and the other mom did the same before their was really a problem. Both boys let out piercing screams and all of the other kids stopped and watched as the boys through their loud, but short lived tantrums. All, except for my little Minnow who kept on singing to himself and "cooking" on the play kitchen stove top. It was hilarious. Here are these two boys screaming so loud and crying, I am certain they could be heard 3 doors down; all of these other kids are staring and my little one was just playing like nothing was going on.

Anyway, there are bully's everywhere. I know that. But really, at what point do you remove your bully child from the mix? There was one boy who was hell bent on ruining the afternoon for all of the other kids and parents--except for his own who were doing "work" (sewing and writing). He pushed kids of all shapes and sizes. And not the kind of pushing that happens when you are trying to work yourself into a better position--the kind of pushing where you use two hands and push. So he did this about 2 or three times and I would hear "Now Eddie don't do that" "Eddie don't push" "Eddie". All the while I am thinking "get the fuck off of your ass and grab your child before he hurts one of these little kids." He was finally put in timeout--which consisted of sitting in dad's lap while mom talked to him--not much of a punishment in my book.

Yes, I know I only have a 16 month old, but I've watched enough supernanny episodes to know that holding your child in your lap while you talk to them and give them positive attention isn't really what needs to happen. (No, I don't really watch supernanny--I've taken child psych). Sorry if you didn't get the little bit of sarcasm that is dripping off of the supernanny/child psych comment). I just think I have common sense.

Anyway, so after maybe 2 minutes in dad's lap little monster Eddie gets down and gets to play again. He lasts about 2 minutes before he starts pushing, etc again. Dad goes to get him and mom says "You can just give him a warning". I am think "What the fuck was that timeout all about. Wasn't he already warned and punished for doing the same thing? He gets to start all over with a warning?" But of course I say nothing. Until he pushes my son. And he pushed him good. My little Minnow is pretty tough and he was crying.

So Eddie gets put in time out. With mom holding him telling him she isn't mad at him but he can't push kids. Maybe if this was his first time out in public or his first time pushing a kid ever, I might buy that timeout method, but this kid is a bully.

I finally said "Maybe he shouldn't be in here if he can't play well with others" and then I walked away. It was time for us to go anyway. As we were leaving I hear "Eddie, you don't push other kids." I looked right at mom and dad and said to one of my friends "I think their timeout strategy is really working. I'm glad Eddie is so well-behaved that they can just let him play while they get their work done."

I feel kind of bitchy and snotty. But when is enough enough? They were about 15 kids between the ages of about 9 months to about 6 there playing. This kid was the only kid who was being downright mean and the only one who was continually allowed by his parents to be a bully.

What would you have done?

Being Real

2007-08-14T12:09:00.000-05:00

If I am going to be real I need to admit that being a Stay-At-Home Mom is not all that it is cracked up to be. At least not for me. I love Minnow and I love spending time with him, but I miss teaching. I miss my students. I miss so much about working.

I am bored. I am really bored. If I am bored, Minnow must be bored. I am not going to feel bad that I don't enjoy staying at home all day with my son. I should rephrase that, as we don't stay home all day--we do go out. I want more for Minnow. I know he is happy hanging out with me and playing blocks and learning our colors, etc. But how he lights up when he gets to interact with kids.

I have spent the majority of my life working and a good part at working really hard to become a teacher and to be a good teacher. Maybe I would feel differently if I didn't absolutely love my career. That is it in a nutshell. I have a career that I love and it has never been a job for me.

I would go back to work tomorrow if I could. I would be happier and because of that my son would be happier. But this is hard, as it goes against what I believe in. I think it is really important for a parent to stay home. I have to admit that I am not sure why I think this. Kids turn out just fine all of the time with parents that work. I don't know where I picked up this holier than thou attitude that if one parent isn't staying home than you don't really have the best interest of your child in mind. That is so not true.

I can still work and care for my child. I am so conflicted because I don't want to seem that all I care about is what is right for me. But, I am going to go insane if I don't go back to work. I am not going to go back to work this year...at least not until maybe January. I only want to work/teach part time. I have school. Maybe I could consider school full-time. I wonder how quickly I could finish my doctoral degree if I went full time. So many questions. How will I balance work and school? I think it is important for me to understand that I don't think I could balance teaching high school full time, going to grad school, and taking care of my young family. But I can teach community college and do school and take care of my family.

I am taking the first steps next week. I am looking to put Minnow in pre-pre-school a couple of mornings or so a week. This will get Minnow out of the house and socializing--which he really loves--and it will give me time to do school work and not have to take away from family time.

There is so much to consider. To add to it all, my doctoral application is being reviewed--with a fine-toothed academic comb. I am nervous now, just wait until I have to prep for my panel interview. I get an upset stomach just thinking about it--wait that just might be the 2 Klondike ice cream bars I just ate.

Humanity--Part One

2007-08-14T11:08:00.000-05:00

Let me preface this post by saying that I am not even close to beginning my thoughts on this topic of humanity. Last night we watched Catch A Fire. It is a true story of one man's fight against Apartheid. It is a moving story of one mans quest to make a difference. It shows how change can happen if we ban together and how change can happen if we fight together for a purpose and not just to fight.

The movie clearly shows how terrorists (or what we call terrorists) are created. Because so often we don't fight fair we create people who have to fight back and they fight back the only ways they can--and we call that terrorism. If we treated everyone as though they were the same as us--and by same I mean equal; I mean just as good as us--then there would be less of a need for terrorism.

My thoughts are scrambled and I need to think this through more clearly. But I want to close this part of the post with a simple idea that struck me...If we could just realize that the same things are good for all of us the world would be a better place. If we could just realize we are all humans we might live in a nicer world.

Back to business

2007-08-13T09:16:00.000-05:00

Vacation was awesome. I love going on vacation, but I am also spoiled and like to vacation in a house. I don't particularly care for hotel rooms--unless they are suites and feel homy. I want a seperate sleeping and living area. I know that is not always possible, but that is what I want if I can help it. It is also nice, I have to admit, to stay in a house that is as nice as my brother and his partners. Okay on a side note, I really need a name for them. Their house is insanely gorgeous and they are so hospitable. They give us their master bedroom--which is totally unnecessary. Their house is capable of sleeping 12 and next time we go we will sleep in the bunkbed room so that Minnow can sleep in a bed--he wouldn't/couldn't sleep in the portable bed so ended up sleeping with me or hubby while the other one of us slept in a different bedroom. Minnow is quite the bed hog--I don't know how he sleeps at night. He is constantly moving. I either had a foot, his butt or an arm in/on my face the entire night. He was sound asleep. Me? Not so much. I can't believe I didn't take pics of their beautiful abode to share with the world, but it is gorgeous. My brother J is a designer and works for this company. All the pictures you see on their sight have been picked by my brother who then designs the matting, and the frames. He is really quite talented.

Anyway, vacation. The hardest part of the vacation was of course the drive. Those of you with active toddlers know the difficulty of keeping them harnassed for hours on end. We were lucky and timed our departure both to and from with the time he usually gets tired and naps. For those awake times, I thank goodness for our portable DVD player. Thank you Spongebob for making our road trip bearble.

J and C (his partner) have an awesome red golf cart to make trekking to the beach very easy. It was fun to drive and Minnow had a lot of fun helping steer. We were lucky enough to spend a part of each day at the beach. On really clear days you can see the Chicago skyline from their beach, unfortunately during the day it was never clear enough, but on the evening we went to watch the sunset we were lucky enough to watch the sunset behind the skyline.

What is a vacation without a little shopping. There is an awesome outlet mall in Michigan City, about 15 minutes from Beverly Shores where J & C's house is. We went and had a lot of fun shopping and spending money.

On our final day of vacation we went into the city. I have to say that I do love Chicago, but I am glad that I don't live there. I just cannot handle the traffic. I love living in my big little city. Anyway. It is only a short drive to Chicago--about an hour--from J & C's house. We went to Shedd Aquarium and to the Ba'hi'a temple. It is so beautiful. We didn't go in because Minnow tends to be loud. But I didn't get the opportunity to take some great picture of the intricate design and carvings the make up the stone building. Minnow really enjoyed running around the grounds. We would have done more in Chicago, but Minnow fell asleep on the drive into the City, so we drove around the north suburbs while he slept. I love the north suburbs.

As I write, I realize what an uneventful vacation we had. I guess that is what made it so awesome. It was relaxing and low-key. It was perfect.

I just can't do it!

2007-08-10T15:20:00.000-05:00

What you ask, on the edge of your seat wondering what task I am giving up. I cannot call Minnow Dimples. He is Minnow and no matter how hard I try, I cannot change it. My little boy is forever to live with the monniker Minnow. No matter how cute those dimples are.

Vacation...

2007-08-09T21:05:00.000-05:00

is over. We are home. Minnow--now to be referred to as Dimples from here on out. Yes, I know I shouldn't change his nickname here, but he was called dimples constantly this past week on our vacation and it is really appropriate. As our son has the cutest frickin' smile. Those dimples.

The weather was nice--hot but cooler than here at home, so we were happy about that. I am spoiled as my brother and his partner keep the beach house at 71 degress. We came home to find our brick oven house a balmy 83 degrees. It is now already 82 (we have been home for 3 hours). Needless to say we are considering getting an new air conditioner. We have been putting it off for a few years. I am feeling a bit under the weather, so here are some pics to keep you all satisfied until I can post more in detail about our awesome vaction.

Running around the Bah'ia' Temple

At the Shedd Aquarium

in the car ready to go home

playing in the sand

"I wonder what sand tastes like?" I was laughing to hard to get the spitting it out and wiping off the tounge picture. Sorry

In lake Michigan.

Heading Out

2007-08-03T22:55:00.000-05:00

We are off on Vacation. My brother has a house in Indiana Dunes National Park and happens to only be 3 blocks away from a private beach on Lake Michigan. We will be gone until Thursday. I am looking forward to some away time and som relaxation. I will maybe post while up there, if I can find some free wireless or if I bite the bullet and use dial-up...We'll see. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

MP--I'll be thinking of Teeny this week as he has been in your arms for a year...

Awesome...Just Awesome.

On the Inside and the Outside

2007-08-02T10:15:00.000-05:00

Mocha has a very poignant post today. I have had the opportunity to examine my own preconceptions as I learn daily what it is to be the parent of a black child. My child is black and both myself and my husband are very white. Going into this whole parenting thing is one thing, going into this whole parenting thing with a child of color is something very very different. Not only am I different than most of my mom friends because my son is adopted but I am also decidedly different because my son is black. Sadly, he is often the only child of color at any of our playgroups--one other woman has a daughter from China, but to be honest being Asian where I live is not the same as being black.

I really thought that I had a leg up on this whole race thing as I have had interactions with black people my whole life--as my city is about 50/50 white and black. This, I have learned, is more of a hindrance than a benefit. My city is segregated and segregated badly. There are white communities and black communities. Are their black people who live in the white communities, yes--but very very few. I have been forced to face my feelings about the black areas. I have been taught over the years not that black people where bad but that certain areas were dangerous. Well, who lives in those area? You guessed it.

I have thought about taking Minnow to places that offer more of an opportunity for him to interact with children of color. That would be good for him and it is my job to do what is good for him, but I would be an outsider. And in a city as segregated as ours, outsiders are not embraced with open arms.

It is important to clarify that our differences are much deeper than the color of our skin. They are cultural. These cultural differences are exacerbated by our skin color, but also for me because I am an adopted mother. The looks I get from black women and men when I am alone with Minnow differ greatly then the looks I get when I am with hubby as well. I might be an insider when it is just me--meaning Minnow could very well be my son, when it is just he and I, but when hubby is thrown into the mix, it is obvious that our son is adopted.

I don't know how to conquer this issue. I have to keep wrestling with my own preconceived notions in order to give Minnow a balanced look at race. I have to be aware of the situations that somehow place a value on skin color--no matter how insignificant they seem. It is hard to be an outsider, but I think that it is easier for me as an adult to cope than it will be for my son and my future daughter. I need to seek out opportunities for my son to see and interact with people of color in a positive way.

As a woman and mother, reconciling my own feelings about being an outsider in so many groups is the hard part. I am lucky that this blogosphere has allowed me to "meet" many mom's just like me--white adoptive parents of Ethiopian children. It is nice to be on the inside somewhere. You ladies rock...and you know who your are.

What I Did Last Night

2007-08-02T09:51:00.000-05:00

I have been having trouble getting to sleep at night. I usually read in bed until 11--when hubby makes me turn out my reading light. It usually then takes me about 20-30 minutes to fall asleep. Last night, I wasn't near tired and hubby was so I decided I would read in the den. Then I decided I would just catch up reading some blogs. I have been wanting to read dooce's archives. I have been reading her sight for about a year but wanted to read more--as I think she rocks. Then I was tired of reading and wanted to watch a little TV as that tends to wind me down. I watch 5 episodes of the season two of Weeds. If you are not a watcher of Weeds, let me just say you don't know what you are missing. It is hilarious. It is on showtime, which I won't pay for so I buy the seasons in the summer and watch them. It is cheaper than 3 months of showtime.

So, I am finally ready to try to sleep at 2am when what do I hear? Yeah the sweet and sour sounds of a 16 month old who is awake and doesn't want to go back to sleep. We change the diaper--I mean I not we...Still crying. I get him some milk--he drinks it all. Sleeps for 25 minutes and then still crying. At this point it is now 3 am and I am frickin' tired and ready to sleep. Hubby gets up and brings said baby to bed with us. Said baby tosses and turns. Nothing like getting kicked in the face with those infant size 5's. He decides it is time to sing a song--baby karaoke...Hubby snuggles with him--read holds him tightly to his chest--and sings as he drifts off to sleep. Said baby wants something else...I fall asleep. It was then 4:15 am.

Little Minnow is still asleep now at 10am. I am exhausted. Hubby was almost late for work--which is almost impossible to imagine as he doesn't have to be at work until 9 am. I am crabby and sad that all those cupcakes from yesterday are gone.

One more day until vacation. We leave Saturday and it can't come fast enough.

Who doesn't want cool shoes?

2007-08-01T21:19:00.001-05:00

I am not a shoe girl by most people's standards. I love shoes, but I love practical, comfy shoes. I love Simple shoes. I fell in love with this little Santa Barbara shoe company when I moved out there in the early nineties. I have been a fan ever since. They now have a line of shoes that are made from sustainable materials and are biodegradeable. LOVE IT. Anyway, I just thought I would share with all of you wonderful readers out there who like cool shoes, but didn't know that this company existed. I am currently waiting for a huge order from them. I can't wait to slip my feet into these...and yes they are as comfortable as they look. And for those of you do-it-yourselfers...make your own. Yes, I said make your own.

Worth every calorie...

2007-08-01T18:38:00.001-05:00

And he is just cute!!!!

Well now what do I do???

2007-07-30T08:32:00.000-05:00

Congratulations Alberto!!! Excellent tour. It was a pleasure to watch you tear it up. Now after 3 weeks of watching cycling, I have forgotten what to do? What a void is left. Congrats Team Discovery!

Finishing...

2007-07-28T11:39:00.000-05:00

I finally mailed off Minnow's N-600 yesterday. So he is on his way to officially--in the eyes of the US government--being a US citizen.

Okay, so I am not the perfect parent. I have gotten my poor impressionable toddler addicted to Spongebob Squarepants. Minnow loves "bun bob" as he says it. He picks up and hands me the remote in the morning and says "bun bob, bun bob." I have been pretty vigilant about not letting him watch too much. Yes, I know for many of you uberparents out there that any TV at his age is too much. We are a tv watching household, so let me just say that I don't really think TV is the real bad guy. I don't use it at a babysitter. We watch it together and usually play while we watch it. It is only on for a limited amount of time--yes there are somedays when it is on more than others--it is hard when the weather is bad and we are cooped up inside. I admit my imperfection and embrace it. It is nice to have the pressure taken off about being perfect...

Summer is fast coming to a close. We go on vaction a week from today. We will be in Indiana Dunes national park, where my brother has a country home 3 blocks from Lake Michigan. We will hopefully be enjoying some fun in the sun and playing on the beach.

Minnow has been home for almost a year now. It is so hard to believe that a year has passed already as I remember so very vividly what it felt like this time last year, knowing we were leaving to meet our son in less than a month. What an amazing time it was and what an amazing time it has been. I could not even imagine the slightest bit what joy our little one would bring us.

What can I do?

2007-07-28T11:13:00.001-05:00

As grad school gets ready to start up again, I have been doing a lot of thinking about education. As I wait to hear about my doctoral application, I have been doing a lot of thinking about the state of education and where I really want my focus of study to take me. Do I really plan to just go back to the classroom and try and make a difference in a small number of lives--don't get me wrong any difference made is substantial. Do I want to work at the district level trying to improve the writing programs across the curriculum and across grade levels? Do I want to focus on leadership so that someday I can open and run my own school? The questions are deep and the answers varied. On some level the answer to each question is yes. Well isn't that a bit of a pickle. Can I really do all of those thing and manage my own sanity and raise my family? I am pretty sure I can. But do I want to?

Would I be happy in the classroom teaching? Yes. Would I be happy administering a writing program for an entire district? Yes, as long as it is a district that is under performing--those of us with a head start don't need more of one. Would I be happy running and managing my own school? Without a doubt, but I would be doing the first 2 things as well. What about teaching teachers? I would love that too. Or community college folks--that would be great as well. The choices appear almost limitless. What is a girl to do?

Where can I affect the most change? That is where I want to be. I have been doing a great deal of thinking about why our educational system is in such turmoil. I have an answer. I know it only I was the head of the Department of Education--but if I were, I would probably no longer be able to clearly see the problem. Is our educational system broken at some level? Yes. If so who does it really work for? Well let me tell you in case you haven't guessed--but I know you have as you are all pretty smart out there in my virtual little world. The educational system works for those middle and upper class folks--of all races and fails those working poor folks--and immigrants--regardless of resources most often. Those in power don't realize the failings because their kids and the kids of their friends function just fine in this educational system that was designed to replicate what the rich folks were able to give their kids hundreds of years ago.

I know this isn't politically correct--but why can't we design a system that works for the have nots? Well, because the have nots don't have anything to offer to the haves who are the ones who are in charge. I am a have. I wasn't always, but I was enough of one that I have been afforded most of the same privileges they have. Without the opportunity to attend college I would not be where I am today. It was never a question of whether or not I would graduate high school and go to college. But for so many it is. For so many their values and cultures are overlooked in schools and we wonder why they don't want to go. Who wants to go somewhere for 6+ hours a day to listen to someone who has no idea where they come from talk about something that has no bearing on their lives presently. When you are worried about putting food on the table or where your next meal is going to come from, do you really care that Shakespeare wrote 144 sonnets and what the rhyme scheme of those sonnets are? I don't really either and I was and am an English major and English teacher.

If when you get home to have to help cook, take care of siblings and hope the gunfire stays at bay, do you really care that you have a 2 page paper due on the rise if Imperialism? No. When you can make more money selling drugs do you care that you can borrow money to go to college--that you have to pay back with your entry level $30,000 a year job?

Yes the educational system is broken. But only for those who are different than those in charge--which we all know is a huge majority. I want to help fix it. But can I? As I resemble those in charge and not those who are being failed?

New Toy

2007-07-27T16:56:00.000-05:00

Isn't she beautiful??? And with the nobs on top so I don't have to say "Minnow No" one trillion time while cooking a meal. I love her....

One Size Fits All...

2007-07-24T14:16:00.000-05:00

or does it? I think we all know that it doesn't. So, then why do we continue to try to fit everyone, country, etc into the same size? Why do we teach different kids in different communities the same thing? Why don't we tailor the education of children and communities to their needs. Couldn't we start a school in an agriculture community that teaches the kids about agriculture and better ways to farm, raise cattle, etc?

I am so angered by how our educational system works. Why are we all so stuck in this idea that everyone has to or even needs the same education. Each student, community, state, country has different needs. Why do we lump everyone together and not worry about what might or might not be relevant to them?

I have done all of my teaching in schools where the population is pretty much entirely blue collar and nearly all black. Yet the curriculum we used was not designed with them in mind. As the district at its inception was an all white district. Why is it politically incorrect to say that we should teach these black students, asian student, latino students, etc things that are culturally relevant to them? Why can't their curriculum focus on issue, events and people who are important to them? Wouldn't they be more inclined to like school if they are being taught or exposed to things that than and their parents can really relate to?

I am fed up...so much more to come.

Moving Forward

2007-07-20T10:31:00.000-05:00

We have our USCIS approval. It took just over 5 weeks. What an improvement. Last time it took 4 months. I am so excited to have that step done. Now there is nothing standing in our way except for the long list of people ahead of us.

I am not-patiently waiting to hear back about my application into the doctoral program. I know I won't hear until after the beginning of August if my application packet is complete by then--I am waiting for a recommendation from a professor who is travelling Europe. If my application is not complete by then, I will have to wait until September. Then once they decide they like me as a candidate, I have to go for an interview infront of an admissions panel to show them that I know something about what I plan to study. I assume they will ask me questions about research I have done and plan to do, about my teaching experience, etc. It is all very intimidating.

I hate waiting...

Differences

2007-07-20T10:19:00.000-05:00

I am a member of a stay-at-home mom's group. We get together weekly with our kids and once a month just us moms. I never really thought about the differences between adoptive parents (those who only have adopted children) versus parents whose children are bio. Last night it really hit me. We had book club--I don't know why we really call it that, we really just drink, eat and chat. We do sometimes talk about the book but it is an excuse for socializing. Anyway. I have so much in common with them all--except for the fact that I didn't give birth to my son. I cannot in anyway relate to the issues that come with pregnancy or birth and I have to admit I am jealous. I don't feel any less of a mother because I didn't give birth to my son--as if you do the paper work and the waiting--I have a hard time imagining pregnancy and labor being more difficult than that :) But I do feel less womanly--that isn't a good representation, but I do feel like I am missing something that I am suppose to have experienced. That I want to experience. It comes in waves. Just when I feel that I am at peace with my infertility, I get hit with the longing to be pregnant. But then I look at Minnow and I have to thank the fertility gods because he is an amazingly perfect child and a perfect fit for our family and I wouldn't trade him for anything. Oh what internal conflict.

I found myself defending Angelina Jolie last night as an adoptive parent. They were criticizing her comment about Shiloh being a "blob" and that she was having a difficult time as a parent feeling connected to her. I had to step in as an adoptive parent and remind them that Shiloh is Angelina's first biological child and that her previous experiences with motherhood came when the children were 4 months or so old and how different it is when your child is responsive and smiling and moving around to just laying around doing nothing besides eating, sleeping, etc. As women who have only had that biological experience they cannot in anyway comprehend what being an adoptive parent is like. Yes we are all mothers, but our experiences are so different.

I sometimes feel like the outsider. As the adoptive parent. This is internal on my part. No one has ever treated me as though I was less than a mother, but I can feel the difference in our experiences, more than they can as they are surrounded by those who have had the same experience, whereas I am not.

Doesn't the Declaration of Independence say "A government for the people, by the people"?

2007-07-13T08:54:00.000-05:00

I think someone needs to send a copy to Washington written on such a level that those idiots remember how they got their "cushy" jobs. I have never been a big fan of politics as in my life politics has always been about money. I don't have any; therefore, I am not "loud". I learned in my poli sci class that there is one thing that will get you access to your representative--I use that word loosely--MONEY.

I was watching the world news the other evening and I heard something that really ticked me off. There was a debate on the Senate floor about setting a withdrawal date for our troops. One Republican Senator was citing a poll that showed that something like 60+% of Americans favored a withdrawal of our troops. Then McCain said that they do not pay attention to polls. They do what they think is right.

Wait a frickin' minute. I only minored in history but I am pretty sure that we still have a representative democracy right? We elect officials who represent us--their constituents. They are supposed to look out for our best interest right? We don't elect them so that they can fulfill their own agendas do we? I understand that good old GW thinks that he doesn't have to listen to anyone--Congress did give him that power--but haven't we all made it perfectly clear what the majority of us as Americans want? We did shift power in Congress hoping to see things change.

Our government needs to change. We need to change the people we put into power. We need to remind our representatives who they represent. For example, here in Missouri for two consecutive years their was an issue that came before voters in regards to allowing for a Conceal and Carry law--those NRA types want to be able to carry concealed weapons and feel it is their constitutional right. The issue was rejected by voters both times and with about 60% of voter voting no. Missouri is a red state except for our major metropolitan areas which are very blue. Well, our state congress felt that the people really wanted this issue to pass to they passed it in Congress even though we had voted against it twice.

Oh wise interneter how can we change that madness that has become our government?

Mid-Summer

2007-07-10T10:09:00.000-05:00

already. I can't believe it. Times moves so fast as you get older and busier. My birthday is fast approaching and I can hardly believe that I am going to be 36. I certainly don't feel 36. It really is just a number though. From what I hear 36 is the new 25 so I guess I am okay with being 36.

Minnow is growing and growing and growing. He had his 15month check up last week. He grew 2 inches since his 12month check up--he only gained 1lbs. But he is doing just fine. He has all 8 teeth now in front. I am excited for his molars to come in as he really wants to eat heartier food.

School starts on Aug 20th. I really like being off in the summer. This was actually my first summer where I didn't work in a long time. I think when I go back to teaching, I will not teach summer school. Ever!!! I only have 3 more classes to take to finish up my MA in English. I am taking 2 in the fall--starting Aug 20 and will take one in the spring. Then I will be done with that leg of the educational race. But to add to it all...I have applied to the Doctoral program. I am hoping to finish my EdD--Doctor of Education. I figure I might set a world record for time in school. Really it is just a ploy to avoid paying my student loans back. I know I will have to eventually and yes I know that they keep accumulating interest, but when your student loans are almost as much as your mortgage it is hard not to avoid them.

Hubby has decided that he wants to go back to school too. He is planning on getting his M.ed in Education Technology. Hubby is a computer guy--a software and integration engineer--he also creates programs for his work to use to streamline their processes. Anyway, he is hoping to get into designing programs for educational organizations, etc. So we won't at all be busy over the next few years. One toddler, adding a baby early next year (on waiting list for her), trying IVF again to see about producing one or two bio children. Plus going to school. I think I have just uncovered a new recipe for insanity.

An Interlude

2007-07-08T17:35:00.000-05:00

too hot to post much lately...feeling kind of lazy...here are some pictures... At the science center

Trying to grab the spring that isn't really there. Yeah I know not fair--but really fun to watch.

Reading with Grandpa Pete and Grandma Betty who were visiting from Texas
Sitting in my jazz fest chair listening to bluegrass at the Botanical Gardens on July 4th.
Best present ever from Grandma Anne...

To The Man I Love

2007-07-06T16:29:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday. There are no words to express how I feel about you that do justice to my feelings and love for you. Just know that there isn't a day that goes by where I wouldn't marry you all over again. The world is a better place with you in it.

Favorite Books

2007-07-05T10:02:00.000-05:00

As and English major I have had the opportunity to get to read thousands of books that I may not have picked up on my own--I tend to go for mystery and comedy/romance books with an occasionally read of the chick-lit variety--I absolutely love Nora Roberts, Patricia Cornwell, Janet Evanovich and Catherine Coulter.

Here is a beginning list of my favorite books

Paris Trout--Peter Dexter
Meridian--Alice Walker
Sula--Toni Morrison
Confessions of Nat Turner--William Styron
Tobacco Road--Erskine Caldwell
Catch-22--Joseph Heller
Confederacy of Dunces--John Kennedy Toole
Moses Ascending--Samuel Selvon
Sanctuary--William Faulkner
As I Lay Dying--William Faulkner
Vendor of Sweets--R. K. Narayan
Their Eyes Were Watching God--Zora Neale Hurston
Summer Before the Dark--Doris Lessing
Tess of D'urbervilles--Thomas Hardy
Skin Tight and Sick Puppy--Carl Hiassen
Paradise Lost--John Milton
Wide Sargasso Sea--Jean Rhys
A Room of One's Own--Virgina Woolf
Breath, Eyes, Memory--Edwidge Danticat
Haroun and the Sea of Stories--Salman Rushdie
Pudd'nhead Wilson--Mark Twain
The Blithedale Romance--Nathaniel Hawthorne
Cane--Jean Toomer
O'Pioneers--Willa Cather

What am I reading...

2007-07-03T09:59:00.000-05:00

I have been encouraged to share what I have been reading lately.
Here are just a few of the titles that I have managed to read and/or began reading in the past 6 weeks. I am currently in the middle of reading 4 books. It depends on my mood, which one I pick up at any given reading opportunity. I never use to be able to read multiple book at one, but when you are an English major you learn to do that from necessity.

How to be Lost--Amanda Eyre Ward
The Memory Keeper's Daughter--Kim Edwards
Nineteen Minutes--Jodi Picoult
Body Surfing--Anita Shreve
Step on a Crack--James Patterson
The 6th Target--James Patterson
Lean Mean Thirteen--Janet Evanovich
Swapping Lives--Jane Green
Vanishing Acts--Jodi Picoult
My Sister's Keeper--Jodi Picoult
There is No Me Without You--Melissa Fay Greene

There is a long list of books I want to read and maybe I will compile that soon and post it. I enjoy book discussions and am curious to hear about what others are reading. Please keep posting your thoughts on books that you are reading, have read, and want to read. I am very interested. Maybe a blog book group might be in order. Who is game?

Dear Mr. Truck Driver

2007-07-02T21:13:00.000-05:00

Share the fucking road. Next time you see someone pedalling their bike on the side of the road--please yield so fucking space. You were so close to me twice that I could have held on to the side of your truck. Would it have killed you to slow and move your big ass truck over? One swift gust of wind and your truck would have knocked me flat on my ass and I don't think it would have ended pretty. I accept my place as a cyclist at the bottom of the right to be on the road chain. But there are signs everywhere that tell you and remind you and scream at you to "Share the Road". My tax dollars pay for it equally as yours.

Sincerely,
Ticked off and Angry cyclist...

PS--to those few of you who also today didn't really "see" me and pulled out right in front of me. You're right in thinking my bike wouldn't do much damage to your car but my life is worth more that those pieces of metal and fiberglass. Are you really in such a hurry that the 15 extra seconds you would have had to wait were worth almost hitting me? If so, you really need to free up your schedule.

Books

2007-06-28T11:51:00.000-05:00

Can you believe it there are still books being published. Okay, so I am only half joking. Now that it is summer and I am totally bored and irritated by TV. I was already starting to move in this direction way before summer. Anyway, TV sucks. Minnow is going to bed on his own at a reasonable hour--sometime between 8:15 and 9:15. He even asks in his toddler way to go to bed when he is ready. He stands at the bottom of the steps, pounds on the baby gate and says "pweez". How can I resist. If the man wants to go to bed then I will be more than happy to let him. Of course he cries when you put him in his crib. But the only lasts a few minutes--on the outside maybe 5 and then he is off to sleepyland.

So, I have been spending the time after he goes to bed and before I go to bed--get this--reading. Yes reading. Oh how I missed reading. I have read 3 books since Sunday. I must also add that the books I am reading are not literary masterpieces similar to what I have to read for graduate school. But I am getting to read fun books. I love reading.

What are you reading? What have you read and is it good? I have another 6 weeks before grad school starts again. I need some suggestions--I could possibly read another 12 or so books. Hit me with your bookshelf picks.

No longer perfect

2007-06-26T09:49:00.000-05:00

that is right. I said it. Minnow is no longer perfect. Let me amend something here--he is no longer physically perfect. But perfect in every other way. He chipped one of his front teeth being a boy. He was running and playing and his upper body moved just ever so faster than his lower body and he chipped his tooth, split his little lip and ended up with a big old fat lip. Grandpa gave him a popscile to help with the pain. Minnow really liked that, but daddy eventually took it away as Minnow was making a really big mess.

I know that this is really the first in a long line of accidents my little daredevil boy will have, but I feel as though this first accident is a reflection on me. I know it isn't. I cannot keep inside and in the stroller every where we go. He is a boy and wants to play, run, explore, jump, etc. I can protect him from dangers but I cannot protect him from simple little accidents. Sorry Minnow.

Time to Train

2007-06-25T05:38:00.000-05:00

Well, I am getting ready for another Century. Yes, if you must know I am a little bit crazy. I was planning on doing one in early September near the small beach town in Indiana where my brother and his partner have a house a few blocks from Lake Michigan in the Dunes National Park. But it turns out I cannot do it as there is a football game that weekend and I work all of the home football games with my mom and brother and family friend to raise money for a small catholic church downtown that just happens to be across the street from the football stadium. Anyway...long explaination for really something not so important.

I really wanted to do a second century this year and I wanted to do one at the end of the summer, so I could really get some training in--so I really haven't started training yet. I was going to start this coming week. So, I was looking for a ride to do that was somewhat close to home. Well I did happen to find one in Chicago--Naperville really that falls on Aug 5th. It is perfect. We are going to Chicago on the 4th to see the Mesgana dancers and then going to my brothers beach house in Indiana for 3-4 days so Minnow can play at the beach. I know that my brother was hoping that we would spend more time at the house over the weekend, but that really just isn't going to happen. So now I am forced to be ready by Aug 5th to ride 102 miles. I have mapped out my training and it should be doable. On the bright side, it should totally help me with the weight loss. I am excited about that prospect.

Century goal--6.5 hours total time (including stops)
Last Century--7 hours and 48 minutes--acutally riding time.

Seriously???

2007-06-21T08:31:00.000-05:00

"In a move that has gained nation-wide attention, New York City officials announced on Monday the details of an anti-poverty program that will offer, amongst other things, cash incentives to low-income students with good grades and classroom attendance."

I can't even begin to speak to what is wrong with this. On so many levels this is disturbing and wrong. It is also just a band-aid and an turning a blind eye to the real problem. Mayor Bloomberg is serious about ending poverty. Well $50 a month is really not going to do it. What lesson is this teaching our children and our parents. I know we all get paid to go to work, etc. But paying students for attending school when it is the law just seems ridiculous. Getting parents to be involved is just wrong. Just because these parents show up to get their $25 bucks doesn't mean they will all of a sudden decided after years that they want to be involved in their child's education. So many of our impoverished parents don't come or participate in school events, not because they don't see it as important or because they don't care what their child is up to, but because they have limited time. They can't take off work. They have other children to take care of too.

I just don't understand the idea behind this. Many of our poorer students don't attend school because they don't see the benefit or because their parents don't. Paying them money isn't going to make them value education any more than they do or don't now.

What are your thoughts?

Let the games begin

2007-06-21T08:07:00.001-05:00

Our dossier was sent to Ethiopia on June 19th for our next adoption. Referrals at this point are taking about 7 months. So I don't have to start obsessing until Jan 19. I am going to remind myself of that frequently as to not obsess too much. I have a long list of things that need to get done during the wait. I have to learn to chant "serenity now" at all possible moments as Minnow is getting more and more "twoish". He is getting more and more stubborn. If he wants something "you better give it to me or I will scream and cry as if you are poking my eyes out with a sharp stick". It has been a rough week. My patience is worn as I have been a bit under the weather. He is also getting so very clingy. He wants to be help all of the time.

We put up a pool in our back yard. It is just a small pool. But Minnow loves it. It certainly is nice to be able to float around the pool when it is 95 outside with a lot of humidity. It has been a nice addition to our backyard.

We have been really busy this week. I sold my car--it was our 3rd car and it was a small two seater. It has a removable hard top. It was the first new car I had ever bought and it is a great car. I bought it in 1994--but since Minnow joined our family and we bought a Volvo station wagon, we haven't driven the Honda much at all. So, it is gone. It was sad to see someone else drive it, but I am happy to know that it is going to a new home. Yes, I know how ridiculous I sound. But that car was a big part of my life and I have great memories in that car. I'm going to post my top 3 memories of the car over the next day or two. Some of the stories are pretty funny. Til then...

Fathers

2007-06-18T10:31:00.001-05:00

Dear Hubby,

The way our son looks at you makes me melt. I always knew you would be a great father--as you are so kind, gentle, loving, and giving. You longed for a child to hold. I was sorry for so long that biologically I could not give you a child. No longer am I sad or sorry. Minnow worships you and you worship him. He is truly your son in so many ways. I see so much of you develop in Minnow everyday. I am proud that you are his father and you are so obviously his hero. Happy Father's Day.

Dear Daddy,

I don't know what to say to you other than thank you for being the best dad a child could want--I think hubby is going to give you a run for your money though. I have a new appreciation for you as a father as I am now a parent. I get all warm and fuzzy when I watch you with my son as it gives me a peak into how you were with me and my brothers. I know you are proud of me. You deserve so much of the credit as without your guidance I am not sure I would be where I am. You unwavering support--even when I was at my most self-destructive--helped me more than you know. I hope to be as good as a parent as you were. I owe so much to you. I am glad that you are happy now and that my bonus mom has given you the love that you deserve. I love you dad and everything I do as a parent, I model on what I know you did. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I love you dad.

Dear Minnow's Birthfather,

So often birthfathers are forgotten. I am not sure of your circumstances or if you even know that you fathered a child. I have to believe you don't, as I assume (maybe wrongly so) that so few birthfathers know. I wonder how much of you is evident in the child that is now ours. I wonder if you and MA were close. Maybe you were childhood sweethearts. Maybe you were sad when she ran off to the big city from the country side. Maybe you helped her be able to go and do what you all felt best for your soon to be born child. These are all things I do not know that I wish I did. I know that I will more than likely never know. But I owe you thanks as well. I do not know the circumstances of Minnow's conception, but I know that I would like to believe you two young adults loved each other. I don't know how anything else could be the case, as Minnow has so much love in him. He is a happy and smart little boy who is going to make a great impact on the world. I just wanted to thank you for the gift that is our son. We will do our best to raise him to be a great man. He is already on his way and much of that we owe to you. Thank you for the part you played. We will help our son remember you and maybe one day we will be blessed enough to learn more about you.

Thank you,

Minnow's mom and dad.

Feeding the Koi

2007-06-15T09:16:00.003-05:00

Minnow had a blast doing this--there were so many it was quite like a Koi mosh pit...

Waiting to Wait...

2007-06-15T08:58:00.000-05:00

We are currently in Adoption limbo. We are waiting for our dossier to be sent over to Ethiopia. So, we have done everything we can possibly do for our adoption, now we are waiting to be waiting. I don't like this stage. The only thing our dossier is lacking at this point are the authenticated documents--dossier cover page and power of attorney. It has been 3 weeks today since those documents were mailed to DC. I am really hoping the dossier goes next week. Last time, we didn't have much of a wait for our dossier as I did the authentications way early. This year I didn't as I knew our homestudy would take a while. So, I have no one to blame for this waiting except myself. And boy am I wishing I had gotten off my ass sooner to take care of that, because then I would be waiting instead of waiting to wait.

On another note, I have begun to realize that so often my little minnow is the only child of color at so many places that we go. Which really saddens me as I live in a city that has just as many blacks (I don't like this word really--but I don't think African American is a correct moniker either) as it does whites...(I guess I could say browns and pinks...anyway). Yet, I have truly come to understand that our city is truly segregated. There are places where you don't see this segregation, but that is not in places where kids are generally taken. We walk to playgrounds that are around our hose and 9 out of 10 times Minnow is the only child of color. Yesterday we met my mom's group at a pool for toddler swim time, and Minnow again was the only child of color. No one treats him different and I think it is great exposure for the vast sea of white kids, but I wish there were more children of color that were out and about.

I realize that it is a luxury to be a stay at home parent and that it has become increasingly rare. I try to take Minnow to places where there is a mix of people and if we are at the zoo or other places in the city there is more diversity, but I long to have it everywhere. When we were at Disney, Minnow was the only child of color at the pool for the first 3 days we were there. On the last day there was and English family of color there. Minnow played for a long time with their daughter--who was about 4 or 5. But she was really drawn to Minnow and I have to believe it was because he was the same color as her. I know that Minnow doesn't really understand and see color at this time, but eventually he will and he will want to know people who look like him. I just want him to be able to get that at a wide variety of places. I know it is wishful thinking when you live in a city that has such a history of segregation and racism. I have to think that skin color is not enough to unite when so much else is different--there is much more to say about this...

I will have to think about this and write more later, as my thoughts are getting all jumbled--I need more coffee.

Do you know who is paying for your doctors education????

2007-06-13T10:09:00.001-05:00

All doctors must take continuing education classes each year to keep their license. This is much like the teaching profession. There was an op ed piece in the NY Times today talking about the link between the classes doctors take and who pays for them. Let me start by talking about how these classes work--as they are very very similar to the way this works in education. Many entities offer "courses" that offer continuing education opportunities. This includes university classes, seminars, workshops, etc. As in education, professionals sometimes deliver these courses, but many of the times it is not actually trained educators who write the course and decide what is "taught/delivered." In education, this is not necessarily detrimental. As teachers, we control what happens in our classroom, but we are not responsible for the entire district and no one's life is at risk--so to speak.

I was enraged to find out that more often than not the continuing education that doctors received is funded and written by the pharmaceutical companies. The courses are taught/delivered by actual doctors, but they are presenting from a script. They are often not presenting their own personal research and experience. One pharmaceutical company actually had a Stanford researcher released for presenting information that said their drug might possibly be linked with heart disease/conditions. This happened even though pharmaceutical companies are not allowed by federal law to provide continuing education for doctors--since the 1990's. They, of course, have found a way around this. The pharmaceutical companies financially support accredited continuing education companies with the understanding that their drugs will be touted instead of other drugs that might be better, but that come from smaller companies who do not have a lot of money for advertising and pocket lining.

Another disturbing trend is that some of the research the is presented in medical journals that deals with new drugs, etc are not written by the doctors who are listed as authors. The same companies that take money from the pharmaceutical companies for promoting their drugs in continuing education classes pay their doctors not only to read the script for the continuing ed offerings also agree to have their names listed as authors on pieces that submitted to medical journals an written by ghostwriters--who come from where? Yes, the pharmaceutical companies.

What a tangled web. What a sad state our health care system is in. When did we decide that our health had a price attached to it and that a for profit health care system was beneficial to anyone--except of course the politicians who get their pockets lined and for the actual company who is making the profit? It sickens me that this is what happens. I am saddened that we have allowed people to lose their lives and their loved ones because our system does not care about you if you don't have the money to access it? I do not think that our founding fathers thought that the whole "freedom for all" meant freedom to make as much money as we want regardless of how that affects the people our country was founded for.

So, where do we go from here? How do we take the money out of health care? How do we provide for everyone? I wish I had the answers but I don't. If only I did. I think it is important to look at other western countries and see how their health care systems work. And please politicians and pharmaceutical companies, don't tell me that we can't provide health care for all, because we could pay for it for years for what we spend in Iraq in one year and we have been their 5.

It is sad that we as a country care more about making money rather than taking care of all of our citizens. Does this sound like the "greatest" country in the world?

8 Random Things

2007-06-11T09:09:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd play along with my good friends Becky & MP and carry on the 8 random things she was tagged to do...

I often forget how old I am and will sometimes rattle off an age I haven't been in years. Not because I am freaked out about being 35 almost 36 but because I really don't think about my age.

I love wine. But it has to be good wine. I cannot drink cheap wine. Yes I am a wine snob. No cheap twist off tops. I hate fake corks and please don't ask me if I want a glass that comes out of box or a tap. Please nothing, pink, fruity, or sweet.

I am a writer. I dream of publishing a novel--not a great work of literary fiction but a novel. The one I am working on now is the story of 3 women lost in the world who find strength and solace in each other that helps them find their way down the path they were meant to walk.

I am scared to death of mice. I don't mind bugs but I can't stand mice. They were a problem when we lived in California near a drainage ditch. The cats would bring them dead as gifts and if I was the only one home, I would cover them up with a towel while I got ready and would uncover them when I left so that my hubby (beau at the time) would have to clean it up. I know gross, rotten and disgusting--but I can't do mice.

I love horror movies. I love scary movies. Hubby can't stand them so I have to watch them when he isn't home. Bring on the gore and the pyschological terror.
I am addicted to diet soda. I am a diet coke or diet dr. pepper girl. Please don't try to give me a diet pepsi.
I love taking pictures--as if you all couldn't tell, but I hate to be the one getting their picture taken. I would be happy if my picture was only taken for important, memorable moments. So please, no snapshots....
I don't like to shop. Well, at least not for myself. I love to shop for Minnow and Hubby, but I don't enjoy shopping for myself and I often experience buyer's remorse especially when I buy for myself.

Home Sweet Home

2007-06-08T15:50:00.000-05:00

Well, I am glad to be home. Of course I was sorry to leave the land of maid service and eating out, but there is something awesome about coming home. It was our first real vacation as a family. We have taken other trips but those were not vacation oriented. We visited family and I did a bike ride, but this was a nice change of pace. My hubby who is a computer guy went to Microsoft's big TechEd conference. So unfortunately for him, he had to work much of each day--but he managed to get in some vacation time.

My aunt works for Anheuser-Busch and was able to get us 4tickets to Seaworld. Since we didn't need a ticket for Minnow he and I went 3 days and my hubby tagged along with us on one of those days. It was great. I owe my aunt a debt of gratitude as it took us 3 days to see everything and even with Minnow being free--it would have been $64 a day for me. That is outrageous. I wonder how families manage to do it.

We stayed at a disney world hotel--it was a great hotel, as it was really beautiful and I loved the layout. We stayed at the Port Orleans--Riverside resort and all the the accomodations near us were designed to look like big plantation houses. Here is a picture of ours from accross the river.

You could take a riverboat cruise from our hotel to Downtown Disney--which we did and it was really nice. Minnow was so impressed with the boat ride but he did have a blast at downtown disney. They have a huge lego shop there and here is a picture of a sea monster contructed all out of legos--yes the entire thing.

I am amazed at how much there really is to do in Orlando and am excited to go back in two years when the microsoft conference is in Orlando again. We didn't bother with Disney at all as Minnow is too young and too small for just about everything and he wouldn't have had much fun. But I have to say seaworld is awesome.

He loved the Sesame Street Show--as he loves Elmo. It was a great show and if you are planning a trip to seaworld anytime soon and you have small children do not miss Elmo's show.

But I am happy to be home and back in the "real" world where there are real problems, like Paris having to go to jail and Lindsay going back into rehab. Really...I am so glad that everything else is so great in the world that this is the only news worth reporting.

Some Pics

2007-06-08T13:19:00.001-05:00

A Little Video from Orlando

2007-06-08T12:26:00.000-05:00

You can find it here

A Much Needed Vacation

2007-06-03T10:19:00.000-05:00

We are leaving for a week in Orlando in just a few hours. I cannot wait. This vacation is long over due. Even though hubby will be working--he is going to a conference. Minnow and I plan to spend our days lounging in the pool.

More when I get back....

Please

2007-05-30T21:27:00.000-05:00

I am infertile and we have chosen adoption over extensive fertility treatments because of the cost. We currently do not have insurance coverage for fertility treatments and one round of IVF with no guarantee of a pregnancy or live birth can cost w/drugs up to $15,000--that is for one month--imagine having to do 3 or so rounds without any financial assistance. There is a bill that has been introduced called the Family Building Act of 2005 and is being rewritten for the new congress--as all bills not passed are thrown out when a new congress is sworn in. That seems like a lot of redundant work no wonder not much gets done in Washington if they have to keep rewriting and reintroducing legislature that didn't make it through--but that is a topic for another post. Julie over at "A Little Bit Pregnant" has a more detailed post about this bill--please read about it there.

Also if you want--I beg of you please--your can click here to visit Resolve and have a letter sent to your congressman. I would greatly appreciate your support--as would the 10% of all people who are infertile.

We are one step closer

2007-05-30T11:01:00.000-05:00

to bringing home a new baby girl (or girls or girl and boy). Our dossier is packaged and ready to be sent to AAI today. In reality it will probably be off to Ethiopia by mid June. Our homestudy update is being sent separately by our homestudy agency and that should happen tomorrow or Friday and then we have to wait for our dossier cover document and power of attorney to return from Washington DC. It is scary to be beginning on this journey again. We are asking for infant twins--with one being a girl. We have also made it clear that we will take a single infant girl if that is what is offered to us when our names get to the top of the list.

It is different than before as I now have a son who is awesome and who I love and who I get to devote all of my time and attention to. Then we are adding to it--either one or two. Boy will our worlds change even more drastically than before. Also, I am travelling. We thought about escorting, but I want to travel. I cannot imagine not travelling. I will also be traveling alone at this point--trying to talk, my dad, brother or best friend into traveling with me. My husband will stay home with Minnow. We don't want to leave him alone for a week at the young age of 20-24 months and then come home both of us tired and exhausted with new baby(ies). I am not worried about travelling alone, other than it is a lot of work and if we do end up with twins--I certainly cannot travel home alone. These are all issues that we can tackle at a later date--as we have lots of time for waiting I think. I am hoping that by Christmas we have our referral. I know that might be pushing it, but boy that would be a great way to celebrate.

Fast Food Nation

2007-05-29T09:41:00.000-05:00

What a disturbing movie. I am going to have to go out and buy the book now--to really read it. But let me just say that I will never, never, never, eat fast food again--including lunch meat. I was disturbed on so many levels about the fast food industry, its practices and the hold it has on the american consumer. 1 in 4 people will eat at a fast food restaurant today. They will eat food that is loaded with chemicals, artificial smells and flavors, and in some cases feces--but don't worry it is cooked to a high enough temp that most of the gross stuff is killed...sorry but that isn't enough for me. I cannot believe that I have eaten things that really hardly resemble food when you really break it all down. Fast food restaruants in a desire to keep prices low, buy the cheapest ground meat--which looks to be made from a combination of some "decent" meat and a bunch of other scrap and fat.

When did we stop caring what we ate? When did we turn a blind eye and trust that those trying to make a buck have our best interest at heart? When did we decided that quick pre-made food is better than fresh food? I know it has become the Amerian Way. I lived that way for years and for those years I can now look and think that I felt like crap. I have felt the best when I have eaten a lot of fresh and natural food. So, if you are so inclined and would like to see what goes on behind the scenes and what you really are eating rent the movie--or read the book. It will change your mind and will make you look differently at the food that you eat.

Where has all the news gone?????

2007-05-24T07:54:00.000-05:00

Now that I am home in the mornings, I have had the opportunity to watch the morning news. Let me just say that I use this term news with great trepidation, as nothing that is on the big three networks resembles what I consider news. Is it news that a new American idol has been crowned--or who has been eliminated each week? Is it news that Angelina Jolie is going to take a year off from movie making? Is it news that fall fashions are already arriving in stores? Seriously news people, where is the actual news? Where is the news about how for what we spend on the war in Iraq in one year we could rebuild every school in America? Where is the news that oil companies are still making money hand over fist and that many of the folks in congress and the president included are making money hand over fist as well, as many of them are stockholders in the big 3.

Where has the news gone? Well it has disappeared and it is a way of keeping the American people content and keeping away social action and change. If the "news" does not expose us to the true nature of our world, than most people are happy and content to live with their heads in the sand. People want sunshine and roses. There is so little in our world that is really full of sunshine and roses. We live in a world that is falling apart, but hey we have a new American idol. I want my news back. Maybe the newscasters could just read from the NY Times or the Washington Post to let us really know what is going on in the world. I guess my big question should be--when in the hell did news stop being news and become Entertainment??? If I wanted entertainment news I would watch E News or Entertainment tonight. When will we get news that really is news and explores the issue and doesn't just give us a 30-60 second sound byte? I miss the news. Our country misses the news.

Botanical Gardens

2007-05-23T13:56:00.000-05:00

More springtime fun.

First Week Success...

2007-05-21T09:41:00.000-05:00

I have struggle with my weight for a long time. Not because I am trying to fit into the mold of what our society says is beautiful but because I don't feel good/healthy, etc. I was always athletic as a child--gymnastics, softball, soccer. I played soccer the longest and was good at it. It really kept the weight off. As teen I age just about whatever I wanted and it never really showed because I was so active. I have PCOS--which makes it difficult for me to lose weight. I won't go into the long description of what happens with PCOS to make losing weight hard and gaining weight oh so very easy. But this has been a struggle for me the past 10 or so years. I have gained and lost the same 70lbs over and over and over. I was pushing close to my all time high weight of 250 again and realized that I really needed to do something and not just for me, but for my children. I want to be a healthy role model for them as there are so many unhealthy choices and enticements in the world. I have never smoked, I don't drink much and I knew that I needed to change my eating habits to really treat my body the way it deserves to be treated. I also came to the realization that I couldn't do it on my own. I was not taught as a child to have healthy eating habits. We grew up poor and when you don't have a lot of money you tend to eat less healthy as process food tends to be less expensive than whole food.

I had some recent success when I was following a nutrition program at my gym, but I also discovered it was not going to lead to longtime success as I abandonded the plan after 6 months because I couldn't take it anymore. I missed so many foods--mostly non-green veggies and fruit. I need freedom to choose and variety. I love flavors and I love fresh food.
So, I searched for a program that I thought would work for me. I landed at Weight Watchers--online--I am not a meeting type of girl. They have two different plans. I do not like to eat a lot of processed and prepackaged foods--of course that is how I got fat--so I chose their Core plan. I don't have to count the food I eat as long as it is a core food--all fruits, veggies, lean protein and fat free dairy. You get a certain number of points to use during the week for extras... I really like it as it is so easy and allows me to really eat good whole food.

Today was my weigh in for the end of my first week and I have lost 4.7lbs. I feel great and my skin looks and feels better. I have more energy and am really motivated as I feel that I am really doing it for all the right reasons this time and not because others seem to think I should lose weight. The power we have within us if only we would unleash it.

The Great Outdoors...

2007-05-19T22:04:00.000-05:00

We have so many great parks in our area that it is amazing that we live in a relatively large city. There is one that is an Elk and Bison reserve. You can get really close to the elk it is great. I spent many a day here as a kid and I was so happy to get to take my son there for the first time today. I am sorry to report there was not a Bison sighting but there was a great deal of other wildlife.
The turtles soaking up the sun.

A blue jay who was eyeing our lunch.

A pretty woodpecker.

The elk...

The stare down

We were pretty close...

About 20 feet away--maybe. That's a baby watching us.

A very happy family.

Uhh...those eyes get me everytime.

Homestudy news

2007-05-18T16:10:00.000-05:00

Our homestudy update is complete. It is on its way to the homestudy agency to be finalized but our social worker is done with it. I guess that means I really have to get my act together and get our dossier done. I really don't want to have to wait any longer than necessary for this adoption. As my loyal readers know, I am not a good waiter.

A day at the Park

2007-05-18T14:37:00.000-05:00

it was a beautiful spring day and minnow was full of adventure.

I'm making plans to go to the park again. It was so fun.

Head On

2007-05-17T10:28:00.000-05:00

Now that I am tackling my weight/food issues head on, it is time that I deal with my spending habits head on too. I have been working for a long time to figure out why I over eat and why I over spend. It is self-destructive behavior that only has a down side--there is no upside. Which is why these types of problems are so dangerous. You eat a piece of cake and feel better while you are eating, but the feeling fades leading you to eat more and more so that the good feeling stays. I am this way with shopping too. Not to the extreme that I could be but I am enough that it can put a strain on us and on me. There is something that makes me feel good when I spend money. Maybe it is the fact that I am hiding from the reality that we are now a single income family and there are limits. I don't do well with limits. I don't like to admit that I cannot do something. I am not sure where this feeling comes from. But now is the time to figure it out. As a parent, life only gets tougher and I want to be able to set a good example for my children.

What does it mean to be MOTHER?

2007-05-13T12:58:00.000-05:00

If only I had the answers to this question on the day that is set aside to honor us. I waited years to be a mother and this day is the culmination of that journey. Last year at this time, I had a picture of Minnow but was not yet his mother...the distance to far, the legailites not yet in place. Waking up today and knowing he looks at me and sees his mom is all that I have ever needed. When he gets hurt he comes to me. I console and comfort him. Being a mom is not an easy job as it is a lot of work--more work than I ever imagined it would be. But being a mom is the most rewarding job there is. When I look into my son's eyes I see so much. I look into his eyes and see the woman who birthed him and gave him as a gift to us. I look into his eyes and see the woman who raised him for 3 weeks to make sure that he was healthy. I look into his eyes and see the amazing women of Wanna who loved him and gave him a sense of belonging. I look into his eyes and I see me. I see the lessons I am teaching him and a reflection of the love I give him. He is in everysense of the word--my child. He is a part of me and I am forever a part of him.

I know this is true as I see my mom in me and a little of me in my mom and I can see it for generations, as we all had brunch together today. Motherhood is special and I will always be special to my children in a way that there father will never understand and in a way that sadly their birthmothers will never know. I am overcome with joy on this day that celebrates us mothers. To all of you fellow mothers---I celebrate you and your commitment to your children and your commitment to hope. As our children are the embodiment of hope as we once were.

Happy Mother's Day.

With My son
With my mom and son
Wonderful gift from my husband and son. It will be an 11x14 pencil drawing of a photo my hubby picked. It looks awesome and I can't wait to get it.

Clearances are in

2007-05-10T11:00:00.000-05:00

and we have been found to not be criminals and perfectly legally acceptable to parent a child. Thank Goodness!!!!!! Now that our homestudy update is just days from being completed, I guess that means I have to get moving on the rest of the dossier. Here's to paperchasing....

One Year Ago Today...

2007-05-09T19:51:00.000-05:00

The adoption stork delivered this picture

and the message that he was ours if we accepted his referral. The minute I saw him, I knew he was ours and there was no way we would be turning down his referral. That thought was incomprehensible to me. I felt as if I had known him and that he was part of me. It was a bizzare feeling that I have not yet been able to put into words. This little boy who was only 39 days old in the picture created a love in me that has only continued to grow. He has given me so much hope that the world is not hopeless. Children really are the hope that our world needs to be a better place. He has made me want to be a better person. He has made me a better person.
And here he is today...

What a difference a year makes.

Like a Phoenix Rising

2007-05-07T12:45:00.000-05:00

from the ashes...I have returned. I really wasn't anywhere, just buried in life and the end of my graduate classes. As I type this now, my last paper of the semester--all 23 pages of it--is printing and I am only a few hours from turning it in. I love the end of the school year. No matter how old I get--I have been in school constantly since I was 4 in one respect or another--student and/or teacher--the end of the school year is exciting and brings with it such a feeling of accomplishment, hope, possibility, and freedom.

Things are moving right along here at casa del Finley. Our little Minnow is not a full-fledged toddler and he is loving and hating it at the same time. He wants to be able to do everything, but really can only do so much. He is already beginning to realize that there is a limit to his abilities...so sad to have to learn this at such a young age. He is lucky or some would say unlucky that he will quickly forget that he can't do everything he wants--we go through it everyday. He is the light of my life and I cannot not even imagine what it will be like a year from now, when we are adding to our family againg.

I am still slowing working on our dossier for a baby girl. Our homestudy update is not done, as we are waiting for fingerprint print clearances from the FBI. Once the clearances are back, the update should only take a couple of weeks to get finished, and I can get all the dossier documents done by them as I do already have the doctor's letter and our reference letters. I was smart enough to get the things that take the longest first.

Spring has sprung and I promise I am back to blogging full-time. The next semester doesn't start until August. Oh summer break was never so great....

Are you sure it isn't the Terrible Ones????

2007-04-26T13:11:00.000-05:00

I love my son and he has brought so much joy to our lives, but toddlerhood has totally set in and he has a new trick. What is it you ask? Screaming. Screaming everytime he wants something. He can say please and does but after he screams. I never thought a child so little could scream with such force and pitch. He might have a future in horror films as a voice over screamer for some scared little girl. How long can I expect this to last? I might need to invest in some ear plugs...Only slightly joking.

On a brighter note--we have said good-bye to the bottle all together. He has been off of daytime bottles for quite a while, but he said good-bye to his bedtime bottle 3 nights ago. All on his own. He rejected in and I haven't offered it since. He seems to be sleeping great at night. I am so happy, as I was not looking forward to taking that away from him. Well, he is about to wake up and I am going to take this chance to enjoy some absolute silence.

Can you believe this....

2007-04-25T21:43:00.000-05:00

This t-shirt is for sale at Urban Outfitters. I am beyond offended. I implore you all to make your voice heard and complain. I sent an email. Please stand up for out children. You can send an email complaint here

Placing Blame

2007-04-19T10:41:00.000-05:00

Let me preface this post by saying that my thoughts are with those at Virgina Tech who have been directly affected by this horrible tragedy. I hope you all can find some normalcy in your lives sometimes soon and my sympathies go to those who lost loved ones in the horrible and until now unimaginable tragedy.

As a human I am troubled and frightened by the events that took place in Virginia on Monday. I have turned away from watching morning shows as they are consumed with the tragedy--as news is their business. I wouldn't be so irritated by their coverage if there was some actual news they were reporting. What I can't take is the hours of speculation as to why this happened? What more could the University have done? Why didn't the warning signs seem clearer before the shooting? Why didn't the police do more? and the biggest question the media doesn't seem to be willing to answer--Who is to blame?

Well I can answer that last question. Cho Seung-Hui is to blame. He is the one who purchased the guns and took the lives of 32 innocent people and injured many others. Cho Seung-Hui is the one to blame. I feel bad for the University and its constant need to defend it's actions or it's perceived lack of action. Yes Cho made a few students feel creepy and made teachers uneasy. But is that a crime? Yes he wrote violent plays, but have you seen a Quentin Tarrantino Movie? There is a difference between writing about violence and being violent. The University investigated him, the cops did too. He was evaluated by a mental health facility and released. Why do we need to blame someone else. Isn't blaming the shooter enough. He was an adult. He made a choice.

Violence is inherent in our society and within our human species. Look at our history books--as glossy as they are they are full of war and murder and rage. We cannot rid our world of violence. I know that is scary to say and admit but it is true. One has to ask how it is so easy to get a handgun? Could he have killed as many people if he was relegated to being able to buy a shotgun? Why do we have to have the right to buy automatic or semi-automatic weapons? Why are we so resistant to having gun restrictions? Most gun control advocates don't want to take away all guns, but we do want to restrict the types of guns out there. Cho would never have been able to kill the people he killed if he was only able to buy a single or even a double barrel shot gun. But most importantly--place the blame where it lies--Cho Seung-Hui is the one who pulled the trigger.

God Bless...

Busy Weekend

2007-04-17T10:18:00.000-05:00

Minnow had a bonus birthday party with his bonus Aunts--his bonus grandma's sisters. He ate himself sick on whipped cream and strawberry shortcake. He was very efficient at begging bites from everyone's plate. I have taught him to say please--which comes out "pweez" when he wants something. So he was up half of the night with a tummy ache.

The next day Minnow got to cheer on his Uncle Eff as he ran his second marathon--he finished in 3:30:50--he was very happy.

Then after that we went home and we put together his swingset that was a birthday present from my family. He really enjoyed playing on it and it will provide a lot of fun this summer.

The Loss of Invention

2007-04-12T22:09:00.000-05:00

I have been going on far too long about my lovely son. Tonight I am moved to go on about our educational system. Sitting in my graduate class tonight a fellow student brought about the topic of invention and how it is no longer present in our modern day educational system--at least not at the high school level which is where my experience lies. We no longer teacher our children to invent their own thoughts. We focus on teaching them to analyze someone elses and to find out who said what about a topic they pretend that they are intersested in to satisfy an assignment that is arbitrarily given because as teachers we are expected to satisfy ambigious benchmarks that do not translate into skills the students will need in the real world--yes a generalization but when was the last time you read a book and summarized each chapter or drew pictures illustrating the main events? Exactly....

This brings me to my ephipany about why there is no longer invention in most of our public school--I say public because our private schools pride themselves on creating inventive people who will take their rightful place at the head of society while those of us who were taught to accept someone elses ideas get up in the morning, punch a clock and work for the aforementioned inventive people.

Our educational system is set up to educate two sets of people--the rich and everyone else. Public schools were designed to placate the middle classes and to give them a sense of supeiority over those below you. But lets be honest, public schools train workers not leaders. We train students to accept what others say as opposed to exploring their own opinions. As a teacher and now a mother, it is my job to demand we train inventors. I want my son to be an inventor. I want your sons/daughters to be inventors. Change must happen--one child at a time.

Our First Easter

2007-04-09T21:24:00.000-05:00

We spent Easter Weekend in Beverly Shores, Indiana--on lake Michigan. It was a weekend of relaxation and family togetherness. Minnow had a blast--despite not Easter Egg Hunting. Hope your Easter was great.

This is what Easter looked like. Gotta love lake effect snow....

Overwhelming all over again...

2007-04-03T18:31:00.000-05:00

As many of you know we are in the dossier prep phase of adoption number 2. We are requesting and infant girl. We received our dossier packet next week and it really doesn't seem any less daunting that it did before. I know I shouldn't complain as Ethiopia really has a pretty simple dossier. It is just frustrating having to acquire so many duplicate documents even though we just did them 13 months ago. I guess if I would have had more foresight I would have made sure that the notary who notarized our birth certificates and marriage license--that her commission didn't expire until sometime in 2008. But I didn't have that much foresight.
I am excited by the prospect that this time next year we could have our daughter home--or at least know who she is. This time around I am much more relaxed about the whole process. I don't have the fire and urgency that I had the first time around. I am pretty sure that will all change once we have submitted our dossier and we are waiting. That I am not really looking forward to--as many of you will remember, I am absolutely the worst waiter in the history of waiting. No really, I am. Check my early archives if you do not believe me.
Here we go again....

Our Mobile Little Man

2007-04-03T09:16:00.000-05:00

I'm an April Fool

2007-04-01T21:53:00.000-05:00

Seven Years Ago today I became Mrs. Hubby. I have loved every minute of our marriage. You are so much more than just a husband. You are my best friend, my rock. You keep me honest and your have helped me find myself. You have always encouraged me to be true to myself. You have loved me more than I thought I could be loved. I love you hubby. Here's to many, many more years of bliss.

Happy Birthday!!!!

2007-03-31T20:58:00.000-05:00

Dear M.A.

2007-03-30T15:29:00.000-05:00

One year ago today you gave birth to "our" son. I can only imagine how scared you must have been. I hope you were not alone. I know so little about you; I can only hope that your employeer who reared "our" son for the first 3 weeks was there to help you bring this amazing boy into the world. I feel guilty to have so much happiness born out of your own sorrow. I want you to know that I think of you often and wished we could have met you while in Ethiopia to express my gratitude for your strength, courage, and love for your child. I want you to know that he is loved by so many people and that he is a very special little man. He has the most gorgeous eyes that are deep and thoughtful. He has brought so much joy to our family and is the blessing that my husband and I had waited years and years for.
I hope that you have recovered from your decision to give up your child for a hope he would have a "better" life. I wonder if you think of him often. I wish there was a way to let you know how wonderful and amazing he is. I know that you are an amazing woman because Minnow is a part of you and he is amazing. You have given us and this world an amazing child who will do wonders and will change the world. He certainly has already changed ours and yours.
I celebrate you on this day. I thank you which is in no way a suffient way to repay you for this most amazing gift.
Thank you,
Minnow's Mom

My Little Prince

2007-03-30T13:50:00.000-05:00

will be one year old tomorrow. I cannot believe how fast time goes and how much he has changed over the last 7 months. Preparations are underway for his party tomorrow. It will just be family and a few friends, but that translates into 40 or so people. We went yesterday and had one year portraits taken. Here are a few....

Is the Media really that Oblivious

2007-03-29T09:47:00.000-05:00

to it's own power and role. On Good Morning America this morning there was a segment on this disturbing new trend amongst high achieving students who don't do drugs--asphyxiation. They choke each other to experience the high. This is a dangerous activity and kids get addicted to the high just as they might any other controlled substance. Approximately 40 kids died last year from this activity. In some circles this activity is called "The Choking Game." Game--people really use the word game when talking about this. I can understand teens and pre-teens using the word game--as so much of life is a game to them. But adults and the media calling it a game give the activity a different undertone. It isn't a game. It is a dangerous activity. Let's call it what it is. Just because kids who don't really understand the finality of death and the consequences that can really occur--we were all teens many of them think they are invincible.
I was so angry at Diane Sawyer and the rest of the people on the show who kept calling it a game. Just because that is what it is known as in teen circles doesn't mean that the media is absolved of responsibility to really put the activity in its place. It is a lethal activity that kills kids who want to get high but don't want to do drugs. Please Media outlets know your power. Accept your power. Weild it with thoughtfullness.

Minnow--I promise to listen to you and hope that I do not fail you as a parent. I promise to snoop in your room, and to know who you are hanging out with. I promise you will have little privacy at home--enough to feel safe but not enough to get into serious trouble. I promise that I will work hard to make sure you understand the natural consequences of your actions and will do my best to help you naviagte the increasinlgy dangerous world of being a teen. I will love you and support you and teach you how to make the right decisions.